The Spirit and the Bride say "Come!"

Moving...

2007-10-10T19:56:00.001-07:00

Well - I'm moving...not physically, but on the world wide web. I have decided to stop using this particular blog and start fresh. My new blog - "Longing For His Appearing" - will focus on the things that I am learning as I dig into the scriptures, what the Lord teaches me in the place of prayer, as well as lessons from the marketplace and at home. Any personal updates about the activities of our lives will be posted on my secondary blog "Far Above Pearls" or will be able to be found on my Facebook profile.

Thanks for reading here at "The Spirit and the Bride say 'Come!'" and I hope to hear from you on my new blogs.

We're Pregnant!!!!!

2007-09-04T13:26:00.001-07:00

Well, after a VERY long absence from blogging, I am finally back! The truth is, I've been delaying writing anything because my mind has been rather consumed with the exciting news that we've been containing, that Joe & I are going to be having a baby!! The due date is around March 14, 2008 and so far so good! I've been feeling great and have been blessed to have no morning sickness - I've just been SUPER tired! But we are SOOOOOO excited and as you can imagine, so are my parents who will now be grandparents for the first time!! Joe & I also had a really fun time telling them, along with Joe's parents and Nick & Nicole when we all went out together for a joint birthday celebration for Joe & I. Joe's parents were visiting us for the weekend, so it was perfect timing. We all went to Montana's and got the usual birthday song with the ridiculous hats they make you wear, but we added our own twist by getting them to write a special message on our dessert plate...

Of course this caused some confusion for a few minutes, thinking it was a mistake and that it should've read "b-day", so Joe & I happily played along before finally telling them that no, it wasn't a mistake and that yes, we were indeed pregnant!! It's been exciting to see a little bump start to take shape - even if it's mostly in our imagination. :) Already we have been feeling a sense of God's destiny and calling on this baby's life and are excited for this person He is forming and shaping within me and discovering who he/she will become. So we covet and welcome your prayers in this time of MUCH change and for the health of mom & the baby throughout this pregnancy.

In addition to all this, we've been super busy since we moved into our new house on July 6th. We've been painting, ripping out carpet, putting in new laminate flooring, getting some new living room furniture, and next we're putting in new baseboards and trim! I can't wait to the see the finished product, but I realize that our house will probably be in a state of progress for some time yet! After we finish with the living room & dining room, I'm guessing the next project will be redecorating my office which will become the nursery for our baby!

So there's our BIG update!!! Hopefully I'll be blogging more regularly after this so that I can keep you in the loop as the date of our baby's arrival gets closer. :)

The Great Canadian Wish List

2007-06-23T09:24:00.000-07:00

CBC News has started a group on Facebook called "The Great Canadian Wish List" where anybody can make a wish for Canada, invite their friends to support it & then on July 1st, the top results will be reported about on CBC TV, CBC Radio, CBC Newsworld and online at cbc.ca/wish.

Their hope is to provoke discussion and the free expression of ideas and they have certainly succeeded, as the debates and arguments abound regarding several issues such as abortion, gay marriage, our nation's spiritual condition and saving the environment. It has also evolved into a sort of competition for the top 2 spots on the list - pro-life vs. pro-choice.

As I browsed the pro-choice group, I think I was most bothered by their main image which portrays a female icon with the phrases, "My Mind, My Body, My Choice", for herein lies the greatest deception of them all. I happen to be reading the book "Body By God" by Dr. Ben Lerner, which is a book designed to help you improve your body and health by applying principles found in both science and the Bible. The very title itself is a clear statement about our body - it's by God - designed, created, and shaped by Him (see Genesis 1 and Psalm 139). As Dr. Lerner puts it, "No person can make another. The body is not by man; the body is by God". Yet he continues to go even further by saying, "Your body is not your own! Your body is not only by God, it is for God, and it is God's." In other words, "Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his..." (Psalm 100:3) or as Paul states it, "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

This deception that our bodies are our own, when truly they are God's, is a terrible and destructive line of thinking that has invaded our society's paradigm, yet not only with our bodies - we think this way about everything. We think our possessions are ours, our money is ours, our time is ours, our mind is ours - yet the Bible also says that "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it." (Psalm 24:1) Yet we are primarily selfish creatures looking out for #1 - ourselves - with little regard to how our decisions affect others or how they line up with God's ways. David Sliker, an author and intercessory missionary at the International House of Prayer recently wrote a post on this very topic of humanism on his blog (wordcast) where he quoted Psalm 2:1-3, which says "Why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of the earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against the LORD and against his Anointed One. 'Let us break their chains,' they say, 'and throw off their fetters.'" David goes on to expound this text and what that will look like in the coming days...

The result of this concerted effort to reject God and His Son will be the apex of humanism itself, or the exalting of man and his capacities and capabilities in a manner that is seemingly able to effect his own salvation without the interference of biblical morality or the “restraint” of the law of God. In the minds of the sinful man, “salvation” means the achievement of Utopian ideals related to perfection in society and perfection in man himself.

In the world's eyes, legalizing abortion and gay marriage are a signpost to our progressive thinking, open-mindedness, tolerance and our rise to perfection as mankind, while holding to the moral values and guidelines as laid out for us in scripture is to actually regress. Considering how God feels about these subjects is simply not a part of their rationale, for it is primarily about what they want and what they feel they have the "right" to do. Somewhere along the line we came up with this twisted idea that we have the "right" to choose what to do with the lives that were never ours to begin with. The very breath in our lungs comes from God and it is He who has every right to ask us to live our lives according to His ways. And His ways are not bondage, as the world perceives them to be! His commands are not chains to be broken off! His commands were given to bring us abundant life, freedom and joy beyond anything we could imagine for all of eternity! He is not an angry God trying to take away our "fun" or force us into slavery to Him - He is a loving God who put rules in place as boundaries to protect us and keep us in a close relationship with Himself, since sin is what separates us from Him.

But I digress, for I have still yet to reach my main point. I'll have you know that I did join "The Great Canadian Wish List" group and I supported the wishes of "Abolish Abortion in Canada", "Spiritual Revival in our Nation", and "Restore the Traditional Definition of Marriage". I would probably also support many other noble wishes to end poverty and disease or save the environment, but the problem with most of these is that we are looking to ourselves for the solution instead of looking to God. I will always stand for protecting unborn children, but the fact is, that even if abortion was made illegal in Canada, it might change the behavior of men and women and save the lives of many babies, yet their hearts would remain the same. I am all for the changing of legislation in our country, but more than this, I long for a change in the hearts in our country. What good is behavioral alteration if the hearts of people still scream in rebellion against God and His ways? If they still have no regard for God, then we have gained nothing, for their souls are still lost. So taking that into consideration, the greatest wish for Canada needs to be for spiritual revival and for the hearts of people to return to the Lord God with weeping and repentance, for He truly longs to show them compassion and loving-kindness instead of judgment. (Joel 2:12-13) God is also the only one capable of bringing eternal restoration to the earth and He is the only one who is capable of ruling the people of the earth with justice.

Consequently, the caption for my blog is fitting to describe the response that is most needed by the body of Christ today - let the Spirit and the Bride say "Come!" - let us call out for the return of Jesus to the earth and for Him to bring speedy justice in answer to our unceasing prayers. (Luke 18:7-8) Let us fast and weep and mourn and call solemn assemblies (Joel 2:12-17) to cry out on behalf of our nation and our world and fill the bowls of prayer in heaven. (Rev. 5:8) Let us see His kingdom come and His will done by interceding for revival, appealing to the courts of heaven to affect change in the courts of the earth. I know it seems weak and it feels weak to simply pray when it feels like we should be signing petitions and making phone calls to politicians and marching down the street with signs, but I am becoming more and more convinced that in the "weakness" of prayer there is greater strength than we could ever imagine. For what would take us decades to try and change in our own strength, God could come and do in a moment!

Turning & Resisting

2007-05-30T06:48:00.000-07:00

Today is Day 3 of a 40-day fast that has been called by Lou Engle and which people from all around the globe are participating in. I don't usually "jump on the bandwagon" too easily, but this time felt different & I felt that the Lord was asking me to join in on this time of praying, fasting and seeking His face. Already, I'm really glad that I did, because He is already working things in me and teaching me about what it means to truly fast in sincerity and not just as a religious activity.

Return to Me
There is a key portion of scripture in Joel 2 in which the Lord says, "...return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning." The prophet continues on to say, "Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity...Blow the trumpet in Zion, declare a holy fast, call a sacred assembly..." (vs. 12-17) There is far too much going on in this text to expound fully, but the basic message is that when there is sin in the land and coming judgment, the Lord calls His people to respond by fasting and praying in repentance and turning back to Him with their whole hearts. Only then is there hope that He may relent from His anger and perhaps release blessing instead.

Little Foxes
Yesterday I was listening to the webstream of the prayer room at IHOP where they are also participating in this 40-day fast and Mike Bickle was leading the people there in a time of personal repentance and turning. It was very reminiscent of 2 Chronicles 7:14 which says, "...if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." Mike encouraged each person to fix their thoughts on the Holy Spirit and submit to His leadership over their lives, asking Him to reveal any areas of sin that needed to be repented of and dealt with. He referenced Song of Songs 2:15, "Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards..." which is the bride crying out to Jesus, asking Him to help her remove the little sins that sneak in and ruin the garden of her heart. It's not necessarily the obvious sins of murder, adultery, or theft that God is going after, but He wants to rid our hearts of the "little foxes", the inconspicuous sins that we pass off as not being that bad - things like complaining, gossip, or pride. Then, once Holy Spirit had highlighted these things in our hearts, we were challenged to determine to not do those things again and turn from our sins, recognizing that we may very possibly fall into them again, but still making a firm decision to resist to the best of our ability.

Resisting Sin
So, as I listened, I was meditating on the passage in Joel 2 and speaking to the Lord & asking Him to show me what I needed to repent of and turn from in my life. I began to write down the things that He was showing me, yet none of them were really new to me - He has tried to confront me on these issues before, but I realized that instead of resisting the devil (James 4:7-10), I had been resisting the leadership of the Holy Spirit, not wanting to submit to His correction. I have knowingly been facing the same temptations over and over again, but usually giving into them instead of really fighting them, making excuses that I was too weak to resist them. And then, I was suddenly reminded of a verse that my former pastor Steve Osmond had once preached about - Hebrews 12:4 which says, "In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood." Basically saying that I was not yet resisting to the point of allowing myself to feel the pain of turning from sin and putting to death the desires of my flesh. I don't know why we think that killing our flesh won't be painful or a struggle! In Joel 2:13 it also says to "Rend your heart" which means "to tear violently" - that definitely sounds painful! Yet I have definitely not yet resisted temptation to that point of pain or really fighting and saying "NO!" I've been more like a passive dog that rolls over onto it's back as soon as another dog attacks it, completely surrendering to its opponent without a fight.

Jesus our Example
Yet, earlier in Hebrews 12 it is giving us the example of Jesus as inspiration for us, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus...who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame...Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." I need to fix my gaze on Jesus and how He truly resisted sin to the point of shedding His own blood for me so that I would not grow weary in my battle to do the same. His life and death are my example so that I will be able to "...throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles..." (vs. 1-3)

Turn To God, Turn From Sin, Turn Away His Anger
Then, this morning I was reading Daniel 9, a great example of someone who was embracing the weakness of fasting and prayer and confession on behalf of himself and his nation, and again I saw the pattern of turning. In verse 3 Daniel says that he turned to the Lord God, which was then followed by the recognition for their need to turn from their sins in verse 13, culminating with the desired result that God would turn away His anger and wrath (vs. 16) and instead restore them in His great mercy (vs. 18). For us to turn individually is just the beginning - we need to cry out for a widespread turning so that He will have mercy on our nation of Canada, bring a revival of souls coming into His kingdom and a restoration of righteousness and holiness in our land.

Now What?
So now what? I'm not really sure what the next 37 days will hold, but I'm anticipating both good & painful times in God's presence. But it's a good pain. It's the conviction of the Holy Spirit and godly sorrow which "leads to salvation and leaves no regret". (2 Cor. 7:10) I'm looking forward to Him tenderizing my heart through fasting and receiving more revelation from His Word. I'm anticipating some struggle and counterattacks from the enemy, but by God's mercy and grace, I hope to be victorious as His strength is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9) Yet more than this, I long for encounters with Him & experiencing greater depths of His passionate love for me, causing me to fall more in love with Him in return.

A New Home

2007-05-28T10:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I am VERY excited to announce that we finally got a house here in Winnipeg! After over a month of searching and 6 unsuccessful offers in a very competitive market, we were able to purchase a house last night! Our 7th offer was accepted on a 3-bedroom bungalow in the St. Vital area on a HUGE lot - big enough to build another house on it if we really wanted to! It's a great place for us & has a lot of potential - in other words, there are a few projects to do, but it will be fun making it our own. The basement is undeveloped and just waiting for our personal touch, while the main floor will need a slight make-over as well on the floors & walls, but overall, it is a great place! It's close to St. Vital mall & any convenience we may desire with the added bonus of being closer to my family - it should only be about a 35 min. drive instead of almost an hour from where we live now. Our move in date will be 07/07/07 - talk about the perfect number! :)

Now, I wish I could say that I was an incredible woman of faith throughout this entire process, but sadly, it was actually quite difficult to remain positive. Each house we put an offer on, we would begin to dream and hope and picture ourselves living there & then be disappointed when we didn't get it. It was stretching for my heart to keep trusting God and that He would bring us the right house at the right time. If you'll remember a couple posts earlier I mentioned the "north and south winds" of God - the hard times & the good times. We had previously felt the south winds of His blessing when we sold our house in Calgary, but it was soon followed by the cold north winds of testing when our car was broken into & then the house-hunting began.

It's funny how God can show You His goodness & faithfulness & blessings, but as soon as the storms come, your foundation feels rather unsturdy as it is tested to see how firmly you really believe these things. How quickly we forget that He really is kind & loves us & has promised to take care of us! How easily I get discouraged and feel weak in my faith when the smallest bit of trial comes my way! If anything, this whole process really showed me what was in my heart and produced in me the desire to develop a stronger foundation that will be able to withstand whatever storms may come. Because I know that MUCH bigger storms will be coming! I want a heart that is so in love with Jesus & so confident in His love for me that no amount of pressure, persecution, trial, hardship, temptation, disaster, etc. would be able to shake that confidence.

But thank God that when I am weak, He is strong! When I am faithless, He is still faithful! When I am powerless, He pours out His grace to supply what I am lacking. So while I see that I definitely have areas I want to grow in, He has lovingly provided for us & given us this house. We are very grateful & thankful to Him for it all - the south & the north winds - for it is all producing in me an inner beauty that far surpasses what people may see on the outside.

I also want to acknowledge and thank our fantastic realtor David Unruh who was amazing as he advised us, spent MANY hours driving us around to look at houses, wrote up many offers with us, and encouraged us to not lose faith in this process. It was amazing to have a realtor who believed that God was going to provide us with the perfect home for us & who would pray over each offer with us! Thanks David!

And lastly, but certainly not least, I want to thank all our friends and family who have been praying for us along the way - your prayers and words of encouragement were much appreciated!!

A Day in the Life

2007-05-15T12:02:00.000-07:00

I thought it might be fun to give people a snapshot of a day in the life of me, just to give you an idea of some of the things I do & participate in from week to week. (Inspired by Shawn Blanc's post, one of the many blogs I read daily)

5:45 am - The alarm goes off for Joe - he turns it off after several attempts to "snooze" won't work & rolls over to cuddle me - he doesn't get out of bed as he planned, but I don't mind. :)

6:30 am - Begrudgingly roll out of bed at Joe's insistence & pestering

6:35 am - Go for a prayer walk with Joe around the neighborhood, a time to pray for any of the various needs for ourselves, our friends, family, SHOP, etc. and get a little bit of exercise at the same time; this is a new routine we've starting doing every weekday morning

7:05 am - Have breakfast together (if we're not fasting that day), get ready for the day

7:30 am - Joe leaves for work, I get ready to host internship at my house by setting out all the possible drink options I can find (Tuesdays are the corporate fasting day for anyone from SHOP who wants to participate); if it's a Monday, Wednesday or Thursday, I go to the chiropractor at this time to get my back, neck & jaw worked on since they tend to give me more pain than I would like

7:45 am - Check my email, read any blog posts from my Google Reader subscriptions, read some news articles and a couple daily comics, check Facebook for any new photos, messages, etc.

8:15 am - Spend some time playing the piano & singing to prepare for my devotional set that I'm doing for internship

9:00 am - The interns arrive - we're a small bunch today, just me Steph & Kristi, but it still feels good to get together to worship & study the Word - where 2 or 3 are gathered, He's there with us!

9:15 am - Kristi starts her devotional set on the guitar, singing worship songs, her own songs & spontaneous worship mixed in - she's working her way back into playing guitar after months of wrestling with tendonitis in her wrist & is starting to see some improvement - praise God! I have my own personal devotions during this time, reading my Bible & writing down thoughts from what I've read

9:40 am - I start my half-hour devotional set on the piano, same thing as Kristi

9:45 am - Brian, our director at our house of prayer, unexpectedly arrives - we didn't think he was coming since he just got back from a long road trip from B.C. for his brother's wedding

10:15 am - We update Brian on everything that's happened while he was away & he lets us know how his trip went

11:00 am - We all get our drinks (my current fix is Maxwell's Cinnamon Royale instant coffee, not quite the same as a Starbucks Cinnamon Dolcé Latté, but it'll suffice) and get settled to listen to an hour of Allan Hood teaching from Daniel Chapter 9, outlining the timeline of some end-time events as detailed by a prophetic word given to Daniel by the angel Gabriel - quite fascinating & mind-boggling!

12:15 pm - Internship is done for today, everyone leaves & I clean up

12:30 pm - Read some more news, do some research on the internet, send an email to my sister to plan a girls night tomorrow to watch the finale of America's Next Top Model at her house, since we don't have TV at ours - yes, ANTM is one of my vices and guilty pleasures that I don't get to watch, but I follow on their website

1:00 pm - Read a couple chapters from "Epicenter" by Joel Rosenberg, a book detailing his insights into the events occuring in the Middle East and his predictions of future events based upon his knowledge of political and economic occurances, and as seen through the prophecies of the Bible - also fascinating and mind-boggling!

1:40 pm - Spend some more time in personal devotions

2:00 pm - Sign in for work; I work remotely from home for a company in Calgary, doing computer programming; today I'm working on a satisfaction survey for employees of an American restaurant chain, a phone info line for people who are suing a company, and product surveys for calling cards! :)

3:30 pm - Normally would prepare supper at this time, if it's something that needs to bake in the oven for a while, and if not, then I start supper prep more around 4:30 - but not today, since I'm fasting :)

3:35 pm - Realize I need some music - turn on the International House of Prayer's prayer room webstream, but it's not working - bummer! Turn on Audra Lynn instead - this is by no means settling - her CD is great!

4:47 pm - Fantasize about food as the stomach rumbles...

4:50 pm - Joe gets home from work & I give him a joyful welcome home hug & kiss!

4:52 pm - Finished up a few more things for work

4:56 pm - Joe & I update each other on how our days went

5:06 pm - I read some more from "Epicenter"

5:58 pm - I decide to crash for a short nap before heading out tonight

6:36 pm - We leave to go to Shane & Kristi's for a prayer meeting for the under-30 generation in Winnipeg

6:58 pm - Arrive just on time at Shane & Kristi's; Joe is leading worship this week for our harp & bowl style prayer meeting which combines worship with intercession - we take turns praying, using a scripture as the foundation of our prayer and then the singers sing brief spontaneous phrases and prayers to support and expand on the prayer - it makes for very enjoyable prayer meetings!

9:50 pm - Arrive back home, check email & Facebook. I'm exhausted, going to bed!

House Hunting

2007-05-07T08:45:00.000-07:00

Well, for some time now, Sanctuary House of Prayer has been hunting for a building to call our own. We have been graciously given the use of a building on Sundays during the afternoon and evening to hold our worship & intercession meetings, but if we want to see our dream of 24/7 continous prayer happen in this city, than we need a place to call home where we can meet any day and at any time. Recently, we discovered a treasure of a building that was formerly a Salvation Army church, that has been sitting empty for over 2 years now - just crying out for some worship and prayer to happen once again inside it! After much prayer, we put in an offer and it has been accepted! We now have until June 7th (a month from today) to come up with the finances. This is a huge step of faith for us and we are asking God to miraculously provide what is required - because, truthfully, it is His dream, more than ours, to have a house of prayer in Winnipeg! We are also putting out the call to anyone and everyone who would like to support us in this effort - if you would like to give, visit Sanctuary's website for more information on how to donate.

As many of you know, Joe & I moved to Winnipeg to be a part of this emerging house of prayer because we believed in the importance and significance of what God wants to birth through the prayer movement in Canada and in the nations of the earth. We are excited to be a part of building the foundation of this house as we labor together with others who are passionate about partnering with God through worship & intercession, to see His purposes accomplished. More than ever, we sense the urgency of His call to us to give of ourselves wholeheartedly to serve Him and minister before Him, day and night, giving Him no rest until He returns again for His bride.

"And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" Luke 18:7-8

Ironically, Joe & I also find ourselves searching for a house of our own, somewhere to put down some roots here in this city. The search has not been an easy one, as the market is competitive, but we are trusting that God wants to give a home to both us and Sanctuary, and no matter what may happen, He knows best and will provide us with what's best for us. The future ahead is bright, but often unclear, with many unknowns. Each step is a step of faith, believing that God has good plans for us and that the journey is producing good fruit in our hearts. Because He doesn't want to just give us what we ask for - He wants to actually journey with us and mold our hearts along the way. Even something as practical as purchasing a house is an opportunity to experience intimacy with God in a new way!

And lastly, I want to share an exciting piece of news - after several years of borrowing keyboards and pianos from generous friends, I have finally been able to go out and purchase a piano of my very own! She is a beautiful Korg home edition electronic piano and has already added a lovely touch to our home. Even Joe has enjoyed playing with her and using some of the rhythm loops to play his guitar to. :) She is a welcome addition and I am very thankful to have her!

California Trip

2007-05-02T11:55:00.000-07:00

Well, I had a fabulous time on my trip to California for my friend Jen's wedding! I had a little mishap on my way down - I missed my connecting flight in Denver because they changed the gate number on me and I didn't realize it until it was too late, but thank God there was another flight to L.A. just an hour later and I was able to get on stand-by! Jen & Lisa met me at the airport and we picked up my brand new, never before driven silver Hyundai Elantra (who we later named Frederique) car rental and I drove from L.A. to San Diego with Jen as my navigator. I'll admit I was a little tense driving on the freeway & was very focused on the road, but a bonus was getting to drive in the carpool lane, which made the trip very fast!

During my stay, we crashed at Jen's sister Erin's place where it was Erin & her husband Paul, Jen, Lisa & me all in their one-bedroom condo! Jen, Lisa & I all shared the living room space and there was a lot of wedding paraphernalia all over, so it was a little crowded but lots of fun staying there! Over the few days I was there, I was the designated chauffeur and drove everyone around everywhere, which was kind of fun for me! We did a lot of eating with friends & family, shopping and getting last minute things for the wedding and just hanging out and enjoying each other's company. Erin, Lisa & I went for pedicures one day & Erin paid for me to get a 15 minute chair massage which was fantastic!

The day of the wedding couldn't have been more perfect - the ceremony took place on the beach with the ocean in the background in the morning, so it was still cool and not too sunny which made it just right for taking pictures and also saved me from getting burnt! Jen & her bridesmaids Erin & Lisa looked beautiful in the dressed Jen had sewn and with their bright bouquets made by the newly acclaimed florist...moi! Haha! Yes, I made the bouquets the morning of the wedding, which I found quite humorous. Never would have thunk it! Then we had a ceremony with Mexican tortillas as our menu & a little bit of dancing by those adventurous enough to try.

Then Chris & Jen went off to enjoy their honeymoon & my trip ended with Erin treating Lisa and I to Coldstone Creamery ice cream (which is like Marble Slab for anyone who is familiar with that) - yummy! Then Erin & I watched a movie, because I needed to stay up before leaving at 2am to drive back to L.A. to catch my 6am flight! I was a little worried about wanting to fall asleep while driving, but it wasn't too bad - I just slapped myself a few times to wake up! The drive also went really good, as I was a little nervous about driving the 2 hours in the middle of the night on unfamiliar roads, but Erin equipped me very well with maps and directions. The airport was a little crazy, but I got there on time & then tried to sleep as much as possible on my flights home so I would be well rested for 5 hours of prayer at Sanctuary! :)

** For more pictures from my trip, see my Facebook albums **

P.S. If you're not on Facebook yet, you should be! :)

Going to California!!

2007-04-24T20:19:00.000-07:00

Hey all - I'm heading out of the country with my brand new passport and flying to California tomorrow!! I'll be arriving in Los Angeles, be greeted by my two amazing and lovely friends Jen Gorby and Lisa Peppard, driving a rental car down to San Diego and enjoying the ocean view for a few days for Jen's wedding. I can't wait - it's going to be super fun to be reunited with my old roomies! At the same time, I'm missing Joe already. :( But distance makes the heart grow fonder, so it just means I'll love and appreciate him that much more when I return. Also, for anybody who knows and also loves Jen Gorby, stay tuned for pictures from the wedding!

Farewell & God Be With You

2007-04-17T16:07:00.000-07:00

Today we officially said our last good-byes to Derek & Erin, my brother and his girlfriend, who are embarking on a year long traveling adventure in Australia, Thailand, China, and many other exotic locations. My family had our own farewell night on Saturday, and then today we all were there at the airport to send them off. It was rather emotional - they were nervous, sad, and excited - we were a little nervous too, sad to see them go, but believing for God's best in the year ahead of them. It's hard to let go...I love my brother very much and have come to love Erin a lot too as she has come to feel like a part of our family. What will the year ahead hold for them? What adventures will they have? What obstacles will they encounter? What joys and fears will they experience? And what does God have up His sleeve for them? It's then that I have to choose to trust. Trust that God knows what He's doing and that He loves them both far more than I do, so He'll take good care of them.

Good-bye Derek & Erin! Have a great trip! I love you and will be praying for you!

My Family

2007-04-12T13:17:00.000-07:00

Yes...this is indeed my family.
The results of this impromptu "shaker face" photo shoot were rather frightening.
Nick, Derek & Erin are definitely my favorites.
Yikes!

Feel free to try this laughter-invoking activity at home - Instructions: keep your lips as loose and flappable as possible, then shake head from side to side rapidly, take picture (using a fast shutter speed). Warning: may result in piercing momentary headache.

If you want to participate, please post your pictures on your blog and leave a comment here with the link! :)

Click here for bigger & better & more of the same.

"Come north winds..."

2007-04-09T06:45:00.000-07:00

Awake, north wind,
and come, south wind!
Blow on my garden,
that its fragrance may spread abroad.
Let my lover come into his garden
and taste its choice fruits.
Song of Songs 4:16

Strangely enough, on Friday after Joe and I had just sold our house and were rejoicing the richness of God's blessings, I also felt a certain sobriety and awareness that while we love to enjoy the warm "south winds" of His blessing, that we are also guaranteed the cold "north winds" of trials. The beautiful thing though is that both the winds of blessings and of trials are designed to blow on the garden of our hearts so that the fragrance of what God has been planting there will be spread abroad and allure Him to come near so as to enjoy the fruit of His labors.

Saturday night, we went to participate at a worship watch at a church in Winnipeg that was holding worship throughout the night. We were there with our friends from Sanctuary House of Prayer to lead the worship for 3 of those hours, and not long after arriving, three of us had our cars vandalized in the parking lot. Our car had the passenger window smashed in, while others' had large scratches made in their paint, and had their window smashed and stereo hanging loose where the person had attempted to steal it. Yet, through it all, I knew God was watching to see how we would respond to these "north winds". What sort of fragrance would He smell? And I believe He smelled the sweet fragrance of worship ascending to His throne as we all continued to give Him the praise He fully deserved! Although it sucks that our car was vandalized, I have no doubts that this does not change the fact that God is incredibly good and worthy of our adoration. And I desire that in all circumstances, both good and bad, that He would be able to enjoy the fragrance of my love and be drawn to come to His garden that He is producing in my heart.

Still Stunned

2007-04-07T15:28:00.000-07:00

Well, for those of you who hadn't heard, for a while Joe & I have been considering the timing of selling our house in Calgary so that we can in turn begin to look to purchase a home here in Winnipeg. Over the last couple weeks we had some discussions with our realtor (and my former discipleship school director) Craig Hill, who had also helped us buy our house in Calgary and were making the steps towards putting it up for sale. We had talked about listing it on MLS last night at midnight so that we could begin showings over the weekend, so yesterday, I was going to blog to say we were putting it on the market, and to please pray that we sell it.

Well, yesterday Craig called and admitted that he got a little eager and actually listed it Thursday night and that he actually had some people interested in making offers on our home. So, totally unexpectedly, we all of a sudden had the possibility of needing to enter into the adventure of negotiations with potential buyers! He was going to keep us posted as to the progress, so we just waited to hear back from him. In the mean time, we had to come up with a faxing solution fast!! We hadn't anticipated needing access to a fax machine on Good Friday, so we were kind of hooped, since most businesses were closed. We were calling around to try and find someone with a fax machine, while also trying to activate a service that would allow us to send and receive faxes using our computer at home. Our best solution was having to drive 45 minutes to a friend's home to use theirs, since the service for our computer was having issues.

Around 3:30pm, Craig called back and stunned us with the news that there were actually four competing offers for our house! We were shocked, to say the least! We had definitely not imagined it would happen this quickly and that the interest would be so high! Since putting up the listing on Thursday night, he had received 21 calls on Friday morning from people wanting to see our house! So anyways, one of the offers was really good, and with Craig's assistance and guiding, partnered with some prayer for God's wisdom and peace - we sought an even better offer from this buyer and he agreed! Yet, we still needed to be able to receive his offer, sign it and fax it back. Well, believe it or not, during the whole negotiation process, we were able to receive technical assistance for our problem (on Good Friday!) that fixed our issue just in time for us to be able to use our computer to do the faxing! It was totally God, giving us favor and helping us along the way!

So, we received the offer - signed it and faxed it back - having sealed the deal and selling our home in less than 24 hours for a selling price significantly more than our asking price!

We are still stunned and amazed at God's goodness and provision! We were blown away with how quickly it went and how He blessed us so richly! It felt very surreal. The whole process was exciting and nerve-wracking and joyful and we are so thankful to God for doing it, because we certainly had very little part in it all and had no idea what we were doing! He definitely deserves all the glory and praise for it all! It was also quite amusing, since we hadn't even been expecting to put it up for sale until Friday night, so it was a total surprise gift from God. :)

Now...on a totally different level, we then cruised to an Easter gathering that we were now very late for and hunted for our Easter eggs and ended up receiving $4 in Tim Horton's coupons. Then, today I took a couple young ladies out for coffee & was able to use the coupons. But, I was $0.66 short and was going to put that on my debit card, since I never have cash on me. Well, I had forgotten that most Tim Horton's don't take debit or credit cards! So, I searched my wallet and thankfully had enough change to pay the bill, but I was mostly so amazed and grateful that God had even provided the $4 in coupons the day before so that I could treat these lovely gals without having to go to an ATM to try and get cash.

So whether selling our house or having God provide for some coffee, He is soooo GOOD and He loves us so much and cares about the big and the little things! I just LOVE Him for that!

PRAISE GOD!!

P.S. (Sorry for using exclamation points at the end of nearly every sentence) :)

My Hunny

2007-03-29T20:55:00.000-07:00

We went out for a coffee date tonight and I had some fun taking some pictures of my hunny...

"Be a monkey! Be a monkey!"

**Sigh** I love this guy!!

Day 3 at IHOP

2007-03-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

After a couple of hours in the prayer room in the morning, we all went out for lunch to Panera again with Joyska to enjoy their fantastic soups, salads & sandwiches. We got rather giddy and quite weird when we got inspired to take photos of ourselves...the pictures say what words cannot describe!

After recovering from the above episode, we did a little shopping before heading back. I was wiped out, so I crashed in bed for a bit before going to a meeting with singer Jacob Hanley to chat some more about prophetic singing. In Christina's words, it was a "very laid back chat" and his honesty was very refreshing. Once again, we were able to get some more insight into the ins and outs of harp and bowl intercession.

After this, we went out for "girls night" to Cinzetti's - an AMAZING Italian buffet! There is WAY too much fantastic food to try and consume, including a dessert buffet - so needless to say, our stomachs were all feeling the pain after stuffing ourselves to the max. As we were leaving, we caught the photo bug again and before we knew what had happened, half an hour had passed as we laughed ourselves sick doing a spontaneous photo shoot outside the restaurant. Here are my favorites...

We then returned to the prayer room to enjoy a very energetic intercession set being led by Misty Edwards, which was an awesome way to complete our trip! Overall, it was a really fun time that encouraged, inspired and refreshed us to keep doing what we're doing!

Day 2 at IHOP

2007-03-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

I spent more time in the prayer room after our meetings in the morning and then Kristi, Steph & I went to Panera for lunch, which was really good! I had an excellent salmon salad with broccoli cheese soup - yummy! Then we browsed at Bath & Body before speeding back to IHOP to get in on a briefing before a prayer set. At IHOP, every team has a 20 minute or so meeting beforehand where they discuss details about the set, the passage of scripture they'll be praying and singing about and any technical items relating to music and format. So it was neat to hear how they do their briefing and to get even more insight into how they do things here. Then we got to enjoy the set and were invited to attend the briefing for the next set as well. So, we went to another briefing and then stayed for the debriefing of the previous set - are you still following?? The first briefing and then the debrief were for Sada Rogers set, the gal we met with in the morning, so that was cool. Her team was really funny and as she put it - "quirky". We definitely laughed a lot - it was quite hilarious and entertaining while also being educational on some more aspects of the harp and bowl model of prayer. After that, it was more time in the prayer room and then I came back to Joyska's place and hung out with her for a while, blogged a bit on my devotional blog and then went back to the prayer room around 10pm and stayed until I started to fall asleep. :) All in all, it was a full and fun day! Only one more day left! So, I'm heading to the prayer room right now to soak it in...

P.S. (The weather here has been AMAZING! It was supposed to rain the whole time we were here, but it hasn't rained at all yet and it's been gorgeous and warm! It's rather humid too & with the very happy and chirpy birds, it kind of makes me feel like I'm in a jungle! haha - Definitely wish we could bring some of this weather back home with us!)

Divine Appointments

2007-03-25T08:30:00.000-07:00

I figured it would be easier to do short little blogs throughout our time here, as opposed to trying to do one big blog when I get back, after I've forgotten everything that happened... :)

So, this morning, the four of us girls had a meeting set up with Jon Thurlow, one of the worship leaders here at IHOP. We had come up with a long list of questions on our drive to ask about how we can improve as prophetic singers and worship leaders in a house of prayer setting and we were ready to drill him for answers - haha! It was actually very helpful and we were able to obtain many useful tips and things to change about how we are doing things.

But then, as we were in the coffee shop, we spotted Sada Rogers who leads a worship and the Word set that is currently singing about the Song of Solomon, which is what our team is also singing about right now. So, Kristi flagged her down and asked if we could talk to her about it. It just happened to work out with her schedule to talk to us right away, so it was totally a divine appointment and we learned SOOOO much that will be definitely applicable to our set and will help us to sing about this amazing book in the Bible much more effectively. Woohoo!! We are very excited to make some changes and also very encouraged about where we are at - that even though it may seem "rough and ugly" right now, that that's okay and it's not our job to evaluate how we're doing, because it's ministry unto the Lord and He is delighted in our efforts to worship Him from His Word.

Now it's time to get back to the prayer room for some more God time!

For all of you at Sanctuary House of Prayer - go for it this afternoon and have a blast - we are with you all in spirit! :)

Day 1 at IHOP

2007-03-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

We left Friday around 5:30pm, driving through the night, witnessing a lot of very beautiful sheet lightning, arriving at IHOP at 7:30am - precisely 14 hours later. We were all pretty pooped and a little sore from the long time in cramped quarters, but over all it was a good drive. I crashed as soon as we arrived and slept for a wee bit before showering and heading to the prayer room around 10:30am. Had a bite to eat and then back to the prayer room. Went to the prophetic rooms - it was good, but I have a terrible memory, so I need to listen to the tape again to hear what they said - but what I do remember was encouraging.

Then it was to Chipotle with Joyska (the lovely gal who is hosting me) for yummy fajitas. I went back to the prayer room while the rest of the girls went to the Encounter God Service. But I started to fall asleep, so here I am blogging before I go to bed! :) Charlie, a temporary visitor at Joyska's is keeping me company...I like him... :)

So far, so good! I've really enjoyed the few hours I had in the prayer room today. I was able to really talk to God about a couple things that had been on my mind for a while and He was speaking back to me, which is always nice. I'm loving being here - the atmosphere is so lovely for entering into His presence.

Upcoming Travels

2007-03-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm super pumped to be going on a girls road trip to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO this weekend!! It started out that just Christina was going down to pick up her brother who is finishing up at an internship there, but then the trip grew to now include Kristi, Steph and myself as well, so us 4 girls are going to make the drive together! I'm really looking forward to spending a few days in the prayer room and just soaking in the atmosphere there. As I was telling Christina last night, I often feel as though I need to go there with an agenda and a plan to make sure that my time is used well and yet I also want to be open to whatever God has in mind, without limiting Him by my own expectations or plans. So, it's hard to say what I'm hoping to get out of this little trip, but overall, I just want to meet with God, free of distractions, and hear Him speak to me.

But speaking of travels, I am also really excited to be going to San Diego, California at the end of April for my lovely friend Jen Gorby's wedding! My other dear friend Lisa Peppard will also be making the trip from Hong Kong & it's going to be a very fun reunion, because the three of us all went to a discipleship school together in Calgary and were even roommates for a while. I can't wait and am hoping for beautiful weather for this wedding on the beach and a fantastic time with my girl friends! :)

Thanks for praying!

2007-03-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

Update to all my Sanctuary friends who were praying for me last night...I am feeling 100 times better today and I slept amazing last night, which is fabulous! Thanks so much for all your prayers!

P.S. I'm definitely not pregnant - the doctors checked! ;)

Abdominal Pain of Unspecified Origin

2007-03-13T19:53:00.000-07:00

So, last night I had wicked pain in my side all night long, so I decided to go the Emergency ward at St. Boniface Hospital this morning to get it checked out. Perhaps I made a mistake in choosing them instead of a clinic, but I didn't know what was causing the pain & wanted to go somewhere where they could do any tests or x-rays if needed. So, I got there at about 8:00 am and was registered by 9:00 am. Then I sat in the waiting room until 2:30 pm. Yup. That's right - 5 1/2 hours in the waiting room (6 1/2 if you count the first hour in the emergency admitting room). Good thing I came prepared with my Bible and a book!

So then, by 3:00 pm I finally saw a doctor. He decided to get some blood work done, so then a nurse came to insert the IV and it turns out I have small veins. She was super nice, but the pain was not fun as she first tried my arm and then my hand, both without success. Another nurse then came and tried on my arm again - so the third time was the charm. Joe showed up after he was done work around 5:00 pm and then Kristi and Steph were sweet enough to come by and visit me and pray for me. Then at around 7:00 pm, another doctor came by and told me that the results from their tests were inconclusive and I was diagnosed with "abdominal pain of unspecified origin" and prescribed some pain killers. *Sigh* It was a long day at the hospital just to hear that. But it's all right. The Lord was with me there and was teaching me some things through the experience. Here is a picture of me doing my best pitiful "feel sorry for me" look. :)

Date Night

2007-03-09T12:29:00.000-07:00

Last night, Joe made reservations for us at the Olive Garden as a surprise for me, which was really sweet of him! We had a lovely time just being together and being romantic and didn't really even notice that our meal was taking extra long to arrive. Our server kept apologizing and saying it would be coming soon, until finally the "Culinary Manager" came over to explain that our order had been lost and our meals hadn't even been started yet! Ha! So, we finally did get our food, but now our entire bill was on the house! Sweet! We even got dessert included. It totally felt like God decided to take us out for dinner and that He paid our bill. :) Then, the funny and ironic thing is that the computer randomly chose us to participate in a customer satisfaction survey that will give us $5 off the next time we go! I think they were groaning in the back when they saw that - haha! But, they still took excellent care of us and gave us great service, so we won't be giving a bad review. Then, when we got home, we played with our new camera's self-timer function. You can see that we were figuring out some of the settings as we went... :)

New Camera!

2007-03-05T16:58:00.000-07:00

I'm quite excited to report that after smashing my previous camera in the car door over 2 months ago, that we have finally purchased a new one! (Notice the nice big crack, exposing the camera's innards)
I am very happy to have a camera again & also one that is smaller and more convenient for taking along in my purse. It also has some fun features that I'm looking forward to playing around with (I mostly don't have a clue how to use it yet). Here's a sample of one of the artistic features - color accent mode - which isn't super practical, but makes for some fun picture taking (it takes the picture in black & white, but leaves everything of your chosen color that it sees)! It's of my "little" sister Nicole, who was being crafty...

And here's one more picture for your viewing pleasure of Joe with his newly shaved head and Ali Guse (one of our many new little friends from the Guse family at Sanctuary House of Prayer)...

Devoted Pursuit - Part 2

2007-03-05T16:51:00.000-07:00

So, I realize that I have been a really bad blogger again, but this time it's because I've been spending most of my time blogging at "Devoted Pursuit" - which is my blog for my daily devotions. I've been going for just over 2 months now and it has really helped keep me accountable to reading the Word regularly and then actually dialoguing with God about His Word and what He's saying about Himself through it. So, I recently wrote a "Two Month Review" on that blog, and I thought I would share it here as well...

So how am I feeling after two months of discovering the attributes of God? Staying dedicated has definitely been challenging at times, but I am getting fonder of the saying, "If you don't quit, you win!" Ha! So, while sometimes it feels more like I'm just "not quitting" than making significant progress, I believe that it all counts and that the Lord appreciates my weak attempts at pursuing Him.

But I will share a significant break-through (for me) that I experienced about a week ago. In all of this, sometimes I wonder if my heart is really being impacted or changed. I am desiring to discover who God is because I really, truly want to know Him and fall more in love with Him, but it can still be easy to fall into the trap of "doing my devotions" instead of seeking to "be devoted". So, anyways...this one day, I had been reading and writing about how Jesus was our scapegoat and how He carried the weight of our sin for us. I didn't think too much of it at the time, but then later that night, my husband and I rented a movie...

Now, I'm pretty sure that Holy Spirit prompted me to walk away and I think I knew that I shouldn't have watched it - but I ignored His small voice and watched it anyway, naively hoping it would get better. Afterwards, I felt defiled and confessed to my husband that I had been disobedient to the prompting of Holy Spirit. My husband then began to ask me what the movie made me feel and why. There were several things I began to list of the things in the movie that made me angry - the infidelity, the drug use, the condoning of sin - but when it came down to it, what angered me the most was the disregard of God. As I tried to express this, the thing that seemed to sum it up best was simply that "Jesus deserves better".

As I said this, tears began to flow as I began to think again of how Jesus had become our scapegoat and how He had taken upon Himself all the sin that I had seen in that movie, and He had taken on all of my sin (including my disobedience that night). And love for Him began to well up in my heart as I had a revelation of how beautiful and amazing He was for doing that for me and for all of sinful mankind. It pained me to see the blatant disregard and rebellion against God in that movie because it was being done towards this God-man that I loved! Jesus, who I was beginning to know better and fall more in love with had been despised and scorned and it was like a sword piercing my heart.

Now if only I could feel this way all the time - if only I could remember the strength of emotion I felt when I said, "He deserves better" - how much would that change the way I live? Sadly, we are very forgetful creatures, and I continuously don't live my life according to what He truly deserves for what He did for me on the cross. But I want to - and the more I read about Him, the more I discover who He is and how He feels about me, the more I believe that it is going to radically transform me.

Hardwood Stairs are Dangerous!

2007-02-16T06:58:00.000-07:00

I just want to warn you of the dangers of hardwood stairs...they are very slippery!!! This morning was the second time I've fallen down these stairs. The first time, all my weight came down on my right elbow, which efficiently became a HUGE bruise. This time, my left elbow and ankle bore the brunt of the injury and are now throbbing and will certainly turn into bruises as well. And yes, this is a shameless post crying out for sympathy and comfort!! :)

New Blog Layout

2007-02-14T14:22:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

Check out my new blog (wordcast) layout ~ an original design by moi!

Waddya think?

How we met...

2007-02-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

In celebration of the upcoming Valentine's Day and because my friend Jana from "The Joy Box" shared the story of how she & her husband met & got married, I decided I would share our story too. For some of you, you've heard it several times :) but for others, it'll be the first - so enjoy!

Where I was at...

In the fall of 2003, I was working at a church in Calgary, AB. I served there in numerous ways, at the weekly young adult service, doing websites and graphic design, and also helping teach in some leadership classes we did on Sunday mornings. At this time in my life, I felt I was "done" with the cycle of "crushing" on guys and decided to stop that cycle and take advantage of my singleness by enrolling in a one-year diploma program at a career college in computer programming and website creation. As my roommate and close friend Lisa Peppard said, "It's prime time!" It was prime time to venture out and do something, since I didn't have a relationship to consider in making the decision. I figured that this was a sure sign I wouldn't be dating anyone until I was done the program, since I'd be in school and working!

Where Joe was at...

Little did I know that somebody else had very different ideas! Almost a year before this, is when Joe first started attending my church as a new Christian, recently having returned to God after several years away. On his first time attending our young adult service, he saw a clip of me in a video that was being shown from a prayer event I participated in in Ottawa, Ontario called "The Cry". He was immediately attracted and drawn to me, but probably put me on a bit of a pedestal (his balloon burst pretty quickly after we started dating) and knew now wasn't the time to pursue me - he needed to pursue Jesus first! But after several months of admiring me and watching from a distance, as well as praying about me and whether or not to pursue me, the Lord finally gave him the "go ahead"!

The pursuit...

My first week of school, I was back at work at the church, and Joe came into the office to drop off some of his assignments for the leadership classes that I would teach at. (Yes, I was his teacher! And no, I didn't get the hint when he kept bringing his assignments in to me personally.) And out of the blue, he asked me if he could take me on a date sometime. I was totally shocked and not expecting this, and was a little frazzled, but, knowing he was a man after God's heart, I didn't have a problem agreeing. However, I thought he was super shy, quiet, guy and not really my type, so I anticipated having to tell him I wasn't interested! Yikes!

The First date...
But from the time he asked if he could take me out, to the night of our first date, it was all I could think about & every time I did think about it, it made me completely nauceous! I was sick to my stomach with nerves and anxiety and confusion! As I was waiting with my roommates the night of our first date, I was shaking and my teeth were chattering - it was quite ridiculous! haha! But as soon as I went to meet him, I calmed down and began to observe who this guy was. He was a gentleman - opening the car door for me. He showed leadership - he had the whole date planned out. He served me - by hanging my jacket for me & refilling my water when the waiter was MIA. He was hilarious - making me laugh the entire evening. He loved God - he told me his testimony & was vulnerable in sharing his heart. I was completely blown away! He wasn't at all what I thought and he was serious husband potential! I was shocked, because it was the last thing I was expecting at this time in my life.

The Third date...

Was Valentine's Day! We went to Banff, hiked in the mountains, went for dinner, and went to the hot springs - rather romantic and intense for the 3rd date! On our drive back to Calgary, I was very bold and came right out and asked him, "So what are your intentions?" Ha! My mom freaked out when I told her about that, thinking it would totally scare him away! But I was not into dating for the sake of dating and I wanted to know if he was in this for the purpose of discovering if we were meant for marriage. And he was not scared away at all, and was totally on the same page as me. So, it then became official - we were "courting".

The Fourth date...
We had gone to see a movie and were back at my apartment, talking in his truck. All of a sudden he begins talking about Jesus as our bridegroom and about Jesus' intense love and passion for me & he begins to practically prophesy to my heart about Jesus' zeal to win my heart and conquer all my enemies. I hardly knew what to do with myself. I wanted to burst out crying. I had never heard anybody speak like this before. He was speaking in my language!!! As an avid lover of the book of Song of Songs, and as a romantic at heart who loves the image of Jesus as my bridegroom, I had never imagined I would find a man who shared this passion. And the reason I wanted to cry, was because I was so amazed at God's goodness towards me and so thankful that He had brought me this man, and I felt so loved by God that He would bring me someone like this who "gets me". Someone who understands the way I tick. And I knew that Joe was the one I would marry.

Six months later...

It was my 23rd birthday August 26, 2004, and I knew that Joe was planning a special evening for me for my birthday. He picked me up around 7:00pm and we went to his place where he had prepared a wonderful, romantic, candle-lit dinner for two. Earlier in the week, he had called my mom to ask her what my favorite foods were and got recipes from her so that he could cook me up the best meal! It was a fantastic meal of my favorite broccoli cheese soup, served with vegetables and dip, and followed by an amazing dessert of chocolate cake (in the shape of a heart!) topped with icecream and a hot chocolate sauce. It was absolutely divine!

Then, it was time for Joe to present me with my birthday gift surprise, which meant I had to be blindfolded!! So, I was kept completely in the dark (literally) while Joe led me to the truck, took me for a drive, and then led me on a walk, uphill, downhill, and through tall grasses! We finally reached the spot he had carefully selected for this exact moment and positioned me in the right spot. He then directed me to stretch out my hands to receive the first part of my birthday gift - if I could guess what it was, he'd give me the second part!

Well, I had been saying for a few weeks how much I wanted a kitty, but I couldn't have one, because I wasn't allowed to in my apartment. So instead, Joe got me a stuffed kitty for me to cuddle! lol - I was already won over and thought it was the sweetest, most thoughtful gift. I had no idea what was about to happen next!

The Proposal...
He then said that I could look, so I pulled down my blindfold, and there he was, knelt down in front of me, with the ring out, and he was videotaping my response with my digital camera! As soon as I saw the ring, I gasped and basically started freaking out - haha! Throughout the proposal, I was practically hyperventilating and just laughing as I exclaimed "Oh my goodness!" and watched it all unfold in complete disbelief. When I removed the blindfold, I also got to see where he had brought me - we were up on a hill in Edworthy Park, overlooking the Bow River and Downtown Calgary. It was absolutely beautiful with all of the city lights lighting up the evening sky.

He then proceeded to tell me how much he loved me and that I was more beautiful than any majestic view! *Sigh* He then told me that he wanted me to be his wife - would I marry him???? And in girlish delight, I squealed a "Yes! Absolutely!!" in response and proceeded to start screaming and jumping up and down in excitement! lol.

We then had the pleasure of just soaking in the moment, sitting on the hill, looking out at the view, and sharing our excitement with each other. We prayed, thanking God for bringing us together and for the amazing ways He had shown us His love for us through each other. We asked Him to guide us and cover us in the days and years to come as we were about to begin on this amazing adventure of life together.

The Wedding...

So, 5 months from then, we got married on January 22, 2005 - almost exactly a year from our first date on January 20, 2004. It was a gorgeous, balmy winter day in Calgary and my lovely bridesmaids, dressed in red, orange, and yellow, brightened up the white landscape! We got married in a beautiful old Baptist church with a huge vaulted ceiling and gorgeous stained glass windows and rich red carpet. It was perfect - of course!

And that's our story! I hope you enjoyed it! For anyone else who has a story to tell, I'd love to hear it! Post it on your blog and leave a comment here with the link!

The Hannah Season

2007-02-02T08:13:00.000-07:00

So, in my last post, I talked about the Esther Season - the time in my life where God was preparing me for my future husband.

Now, I am beginning a new journey into what I've decided to call the Hannah Season. As I'm sure most of you know, Hannah was the mother to the well-known prophet of the Bible, Samuel. Her story can be found in the first 3 chapters of the book of 1 Samuel and she is a godly woman with many admirable qualities that I would hope to emulate.

1. She was a woman of prayer - I too want to be a woman who cries out to God on behalf of my children, before they are even born. Since, I believe they already exist in the heart of God and He has known them from before the creation of the world, than surely my prayers matter even now!
2. She had open hands - before she even had children, she dedicated her child to God. I want to do the same, knowing that my children belong to God before they belong to me. By giving them back to the Lord, I am placing them in the safest possible place.
3. She persevered - she sought the Lord earnestly and passionately, fasting and crying out to God persistently for this desire of her heart. In the same way, I want to persever in prayer for my children, being an intercessory warrior on their behalf!
4. She worshiped and believed - even before she saw the answer to her prayers, she gave worship and praise to God. I believe she had a spirit of faith that believed the Lord had heard her prayers. Praise and faith are qualities I want to display in my home and instill in my children.
5. She was a woman of integrity - even though she may have been tempted to change her mind once she found herself with her beloved son in her arms, she did not back out, but followed through on her vow and kept her commitment to God. By God's grace, I hope to be a mother who keeps her promises and who lives righteously both in public and in private, setting a godly example for my children.

I'm sure there are even more qualities that could be extracted from Hannah's story, but I think the part that I am identifying with most right now, is her simple desire for a child. And in some ways, I feel the same emotions of when I was longing to find my husband - the uncertainty of when and how and what will they be like? There's a knowing that they exist, but they remain nameless and faceless until the day that God decides the time is right.

So, I find myself with a new journal. It's a little brown suede notebook (couldn't choose anything too feminine or masculine) that will soon start to be filled with prayers for my future child, letters to them, and I'm not quite sure what else. But it's fun and exciting to engage with God about my future children before they are even conceived, and to allow Him to prepare me to be the kind of mother He would desire for me to be. It's again a season of prepartion and molding and shaping...

The Esther Season

2007-02-01T18:27:00.000-07:00

When I was approximately 20 years old, I felt the Lord speak to me that He was bringing me into what I coined "The Esther Season". The Esther Season was a period of time that He was going to use to prepare me for my future husband. For those of you who are not familiar with the story of Esther, she is the young woman in the Bible who was chosen to become the new queen of King Xerxes. Before she met the King, she spent a year in preparation, being submitted to beauty treatments and learning about how to be a queen. Similarly, I was desiring for the Lord to work in my life to make me beautiful (in spirit) and to prepare me to be the kind of wife He would want me to be for my future husband, who I was also waiting to meet. At this point of my life, I had already been praying for my future husband for approximately 7 years (since I was 13) but now I felt prompted to create something to record my journey through this special season. Therefore, I bought a journal and filled it with the following...

1. A list of "must-have" qualities I was looking for in my husband.
2. A "bonus" list of qualities I wanted in my husband, but weren't a requirement. :)
3. Prayers for my husband.
4. Letters to my husband.
5. Lyrics to love songs and poems.
6. Pictures.
etc. Keep in mind that I had no idea who I would be marrying - but it was something to remind me to pray for him and it was good for me during those single years when it sometimes gets lonely and you wonder if you'll ever find him! :)

So, when the time came that I finally met the man I was going to marry, it became even more special. I could now write prayers for him, knowing what his needs were. I could now write letters to him and write a name and picture a face! I could now record the love songs that I had written myself for him! It was lots of fun and I really enjoyed putting my love and time into this creation. After we became engaged, I was going through several old journals from when I was a teenager and I found more prayers that I had recorded for my future husband from as far back as 13 years old and 15, which I then copied into this journal as well.

It was amazing to see how God has been so faithful to answer all of my prayers! And God even took the silly, seemingly unimportant desires of my heart and fulfilled even my "bonus" list! He is so good! What was really special though, was when I surprised Joe on our wedding night with this journal as my gift to him. It actually moved him to tears, seeing all the prayers and letters I had written before I even knew him. But God had known! And this journal is still a special momento to look at today.

Now, I told you all this to tell you of a new season and a new journal that the Lord has prompted me to begin...one that I have decided to dub "The Hannah Season".

More to come in my next post... ;)

Pictures Galore!

2007-01-26T11:01:00.000-07:00

I decided to create a slideshow of my favorite photos - enjoy!

**Mushiness alert: Be prepared for several kissing pictures!** :)

It's Our 2nd Anniversary!!

2007-01-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Today, January 22nd, marks our 2 Year Anniversary!! What can I tell you, except that it truly just keeps getting better! Sometimes when I think back on our dating months (our dating and engagement was one year combined), I am amazed at where we have wound up! I never could have imagined where God would take us - both spiritually and geographically - and how I would fall even more in love with this man who is my partner for life! He is truly my "perfect gift" from the Father - not perfect, but perfect for me! :) And this year, he asked if I wanted to plan something with him or be surprised, and of course, I chose to be surprised! So, I knew he was planning something, but I had no idea what it was or when it would happen.

So, last week Monday, my brother Derek asked if Joe & I wanted to go for supper with him and his girlfriend Erin. I had just been thinking this a couple days ago & so I was super excited to get together with them, since I've hardly even seen them since we moved to Manitoba almost 5 months ago. So, Derek suggested a restaurant that he and Erin liked, downtown, and we were going to meet them there Friday night. So, Friday came along & I had mentioned to Derek that maybe they could come over to our place for dessert afterwards, since they hadn't seen where we were living yet. So, I sent Joe grocery shopping and told him to pick up some pie shells and puddings and stuff to make pies. Then, I had Joe bake the pie shells and he suggested we make the pudding later, so it would be fresh. Then, I was going to call Derek, just to make sure everything was still a "go", but Joe said he'd call him for me while I got ready. Well, Derek didn't answer, so I asked Joe to call Erin, but she wasn't home either, so I figured they were probably on their way.

So, I finished getting ready and we headed out & when we were about 5 minutes from the restaurant, Derek calls me on my cell phone, saying that he went to pick up Erin from work, but her boss had just arrived back from Hong Kong with a shipment of clothing that HAD to be priced and put on the shelves TONIGHT, and since Erin is the new manager there, she absolutely couldn't get out of it. I was totally disappointed, because I'd been looking forward to this, and I told Joe to just turn around and go back home, but then Derek said that we should still go, 'cause it was a really nice restaurant and they enjoyed it & we would have a good time. So, I figured, yeah - we were almost there already and if we went home, then I'd have to make supper, so we might as well still have a nice dinner together. So we went, and luckily Derek had made a reservation for 4, so we got in right away.

I told the waitress that the other 2 weren't coming, so she sat us at a table for two and we began to peruse the menus. After a few minutes of just holding hands and enjoying being on a "date" together, Joe says, "Happy Anniversary! This night is all about you." And I thought to myself, "Oh, that's nice. He's trying to make me feel better and he's pretending we're celebrating our anniversary (since it was a couple days before the actual day)." And I just kept looking at my menu, trying to decide what to order. Meanwhile, Joe is stressing out because I obviously didn't get it, so after a couple more minutes, he asks me, "Did you get what I just said?" And I'm, like, "No....." and then he elaborated, "This is your anniversary night - this is the surprise! I used Derek and the whole thing to get you here without knowing that this was the beginning of our celebration!" Well, then I gave him the reaction he had been hoping for the first time! Haha! I was totally shocked and surprised and in disbelief that he had arranged the whole entire thing!

Then, he went on to describe to me all the times I had totally stressed him out during the week when he thought I was on to him, or he was scared someone would blow the surprise by accident! It was really funny replaying everything, now that I knew what had been going on! So, we enjoyed a lovely dinner at Pasta La Vista, which had a great atmosphere and excellent service and fabulous food! But before we got our meals, Derek calls on Joe's cell phone, and according to the plan, he was supposed to call my cell phone earlier, but we didn't hear it ringing. So, Derek was the one who was supposed to reveal the surprise to me, but since Joe had already told me, I just played along. :) (Derek, if you're reading this, then I guess it's payback for all the lying you did to me!!) But, it was funny, because then I found out from Derek that he was still at home at my parents' place in Steinbach, and that Erin was working, but he had made up the whole story about her boss & that he hadn't actually ever been to the restaurant! Also, Joe told me later that when he had called Derek's cell phone, when I had asked him to check and make sure we were still on, that Derek had been in the bathroom, and my MOM had answered! So, if I had made the call, like I was planning to, it could've been totally ruined, because I would've known he wasn't in the city! So, Joe was praying a lot during the week that everything would go smoothly and that I wouldn't find out & God totally helped him out! Haha!

Then, when we were finished our meal, Joe made a suggestion to go to the Fort Garry Hotel to tour around the place, since it's the fabulous old hotel in the city that is very similar in style and grandeur to the Banff Springs Hotel. So, I was totally up for that, but at this point, also totally suspicious of why he was taking me there, but also not wanting to assume anything. So, we got there and began to just tour all the floors, looking at the amazing ball rooms, etc. and we were on the 5th floor and I was trying to find a public washroom to use, when Joe pulls out a room key and says, "Why don't you use the washroom in here?" :) So, obviously, he had reserved a room for the night & he had even arranged for the "Romance Package", so there was a huge fruit basket full of strawberries, kiwi, apples, oranges, special cheeses, chocolate, etc. accompanied by some fruit juices and sparkling juices and a single red rose! We also got to have breakfast in bed (a very fluffy and gloriously comfortable King-size bed!) and have access to a fitness center with a pool and hot tub and all that jazz. So, it was a totally fabulous surprise, and Joe had even packed a small bag with a change of clothes, toothbrush, bathing suit, etc. which he had smuggled there when he checked in when I sent him grocery shopping earlier that afternoon!

So, everything went as he had planned and we had a wonderful anniversary that kept me smiling and laughing for hours at all the things that he had to endure while trying to keep it a secret!

I love my husband!!

Oh...and I still got to make the pies to bring to a friend's place for dinner tonight - haha!!

Midsleep confusion

2007-01-12T08:55:00.000-07:00

So, it was approximately 3:26 a.m. last night and a loud "thump in the night" occurred (I think it was just the furnace turning on) which woke me out of my slumber. It appeared to also jolt Joe beside me and he promptly rolled over towards his night table and started pressing buttons on the alarm clock. Now, he had absolutely no business messing around with the alarm clock at 3:30 in the morning, so I figured he must not be fully conscious. I've begun to realize that he does more things in his sleep than either of us were aware of! (Funny sidenote: just a couple nights ago, he was sticking his legs way up in the air, and when I asked for an explanation of his bizarre actions, he told me he was trying to touch the ceiling?!?)

So, I calmly asked Joe what he was doing. (I was mostly concerned that he was going to turn the alarm clock off, because we needed to get up early this morning to go to the chiropractor) He was a little foggy and needed me to repeat the question a couple times, but then promptly began to say, "Well, I'm..." as if he knew exactly what he was doing and had a perfectly good explanation for me. But there he faltered and I could tell his brain was working really hard to come up with an answer for me. And so there was a long pause before he finally replied with a lot of confusion and a little bit of helplessness in his voice, "...I, I don't know what I'm doing?"

So, I stroked his back reassuringly and comforted him saying, "It's okay if you don't know what you're doing...just don't turn off the alarm clock." (I can never really be sure when he's finally come out of sleep and into reality) It was only at this point that he even realized that his hand was on the alarm clock and that he was still pressing buttons - lol. And it was then that I think he finally became fully aware of what he was doing, although he didn't remember most of what had just happened.

I asked him if he was awake now and he replied, "Yes" and then added kind of sheepishly, "This might explain a few things..." since a couple times lately we've slept in due to the alarm not going off, even when Joe was convinced he had set it before bed. So, I'm beginning to wonder if I should move the alarm clock to my side of the bed! :)

Devoted Pursuit

2007-01-08T13:50:00.000-07:00

A few years ago when I was in a discipleship school in Calgary, Alberta, I was intent upon becoming flawless in my daily devotions, thinking that if only I could master the discipline of reading my Bible and spending time in prayer, that I would attain the Lord's approval. My gracious and wise mentors then took the time to remind me that it wasn't about "doing my devotions" but that it was about becoming "devoted" to Christ.

de·vot·ed [di-voh-tid]
–adjective
1. zealous or ardent in attachment, loyalty, or affection
2. to give or apply (one's time, attention, or self) entirely to a particular activity, pursuit, cause, or person

Religous Duties vs. One Thing
Over the years, I have often forgotten this, and I've focused my attentions on trying to accomplish the religious duties expected of a follower of Christ, instead of remembering that the one thing I am truly called to is simply to love Him and to seek to fall more in love with Him. I have tried to follow rigorous schedules that would help me to live a disciplined life, but I have continually failed to live up to the high standards I expected of myself.

Leaning Upon My Lover
I still desire to be a woman who reads the Word daily and a woman who communes with the Lord daily, but I realize now that I am weak and that I cannot do this in my own strength. I need to lean upon my lover and draw strength from Him, for His "power is made perfect in weakness"^*. And instead of focusing upon my past failures and my feelings of inadequacy, I am choosing to fix my gaze upon His face and venture out on a new beginning.

Pursuing Devotion by Blogging
It was as I was reading my Bible the other day that I was struck with the idea to combine my daily devotions with something else that I love - blogging! :) Therefore, I have created a new blog just for this purpose, hoping that by using it, it will help keep me accountable in my pursuit of becoming devoted. Feel free to visit it if you like - or not - whatever you like. :) It will mostly be my personal thoughts on what I am reading in the Word.

Happy New Year!

2007-01-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

Well, we had a lovely Christmas holiday, spending several days at my parents' place, followed by several days at Joe's parents' home in Lacombe, AB. At my parents' we spent a lot of time puzzling (my mom's favorite thing to do at Christmas), playing games, watching movies, and eating Christmas goodies!! Joe also helped my dad with a project in his shop, putting tin on all the walls (a BIG improvement!!) It was nice to spend time with my family again & I especially enjoyed the time of thanksgiving that we had, where we went around the circle and everyone shared what they were thankful for, before opening our gifts. A highlight this Christmas for us, was also the time we spent at SHOP on Christmas Eve, singing devotionally about the birth of Jesus, and then also spending time giving thanks for what He has done for us. It was a wonderfully refreshing way to celebrate His birth, by worshiping and singing about Him.

Then we went to Joe's parents' place where we got to spend time with his siblings and our neices and nephew. Again, much time was spent playing games, watching movies, and eating lots of good food! Haha. I also conquered the game of Myst V (with the help of a "few" hints) and Joe and his brother Pat helped install a new washer, dryer & stove for their mom. It was a nice, relaxing and fun few days of just hanging out. The only down-side of it all is that I caught a nasty cold from Joe's sister/brother-in-law. :P So, I am a mess of sore throat, stuffed nose, and sinus headaches right now. Hopefully, this cold is over with by the time Sunday rolls around and I have to lead in the new prayer set we're doing at SHOP on the Song of Songs!!

All in all, though, it was a great Christmas, even with coming back to 2 feet of snow in Winnipeg on New Year's Day! And if you think of us, you can pray for my healing and for Joe as he is on the job hunt, that he will find the perfect job that God has in store for him.

The Pain of Desire

2006-12-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

If you've ever experienced the pain of desire, you know what I'm talking about and don't need an explanation. But if you don't know what I mean, allow me to paint you a picture...

I believe I first experienced the pain of desire when I was 13 years old (or it was the first time I had the realization that this is what it was). I was a young girl, lonely and aching for love. In my immaturity, I thought this desire for love could be fulfilled by a person, but there was no such person in my life to attempt to fill the void with. I therefore became depressed and despised life, for what kind of life is it if you are always in pain, desiring what you cannot have? But then, one day at church, somebody was sharing their testimony of how God had touched their life and I saw a joy in them that I had never seen before and which I longed to have. I ran to the bathroom to try and hide the tears that were welling up, as the pain of desire grew even stronger - only now, the object of that desire had changed. I wanted to know that joy, the true joy of having experienced His touch.

However, I naively thought that once I did experience His touch that I would be forever satisfied and the pain would finally cease. To some extent this was true. I went to some revival meetings and He met me there! I felt His love for me and I knew that He was real and I realized that He cared about me and I was forever changed. That encounter with the living God, with my Bridegroom Jesus, ruined me for eternity - no longer would I ever be able to find satisfaction in anything less than Him. And I had JOY! I laughed like I had never laughed before - such joy bubbled from inside my spirit at His touch. And I was fully satisfied. But it didn't last...

It didn't last?? (You ask) Shouldn't the love of God satisfy so that you never thirst again?? Yet it doesn't work like that! Once you've had just a taste of Him, you MUST have more! The last drink completely quenches your thirst, but the next day, or the next week, you find you are thirsty for it again! Allow me to use an earthly example: When Joe and I were dating, it came to the moment where we had our first kiss. Oh, it was bliss!! Never had I imagined his lips would be so soft and so delicious! (Forgive me if I am being too descriptive!) And I was soaring high for days on the delight of kissing him, reliving the experience, which brought multiple smiles to my lips just at the thought of it. But it didn't take long before the memory was no longer enough - I wanted to experience the pleasure of his kiss again and again and again! (Forgive me again for being so mushy) But this is truly how it is with my relationship with Jesus. After one "kiss", so to speak, I found it was never enough. I was always left wanting more.

And so this pain of desire.

As Mike Bickle put it in his series on "Contemplative Prayer" - "Hunger is God's gift to you. That hunger has overwhelming delight and it has anguish! ...There's two sides of love... God uses the one overwhelming love to absolutely empower and enthrall us. He uses the 'hiding of His face' kind of love in order to produce meekness, tenderness and dependancy... Your anguish for God today...is the work of God in you... it is the token of God's hand upon your heart."

But when you're in a season where it feels like God is "hiding His face" from you and you can't sense His presense like before, it is truly anguish! There is pain in desiring to encounter the heart and love of God, and it certainly doesn't feel good in the moment - I feel like pounding my fists on His chest and yelling, "WHERE ARE YOU???" Yet, it's those moments of desperation and hunger and longing that make the moments when you hear His voice or feel His touch all the better and all the more satisfying. I don't understand it fully, but I have to believe that when I'm in those times of painful desire and longing that it will come to an end, and that it won't last forever, and that He is using it to produce love in my heart for Him. I have to believe that He will come and satisfy the desires of my heart, just as He promised He would.

Happenings at SHOP

2006-12-07T15:37:00.000-07:00

Well, there have been MANY things going on lately, but I have been waiting to acquire pictures before I blogged about them all. So, this will be a long post, but very informational & very "updational" (meaning full of updates). **Note: Click on the pictures to see larger versions of the images.**

November 8th
At Sanctuary House of Prayer we had a 10-day corporate fast to seek God, press into His presence, and search out His heart for our future. It was a challenging, yet rewarding time. The picture is of us "breaking-fast" on the 10th day by stuffing our faces with pizza - notice Joe is quite enthusiastic about devouring his share!

November 21st
Every Tuesday night, a group of us gather at Shane & Kristi's for a prayer meeting to intercede for the under-30 generation. It's a great time of prayer and worship and crying out to God for the young people in the city of Winnipeg. We also take time to pray for healing for one another and on this particular night, we took special time to pray for our friend Courtney who had come for 3 months from New Brunswick and who was about to return to her "homeland". It's been really great to be part of such a loving and caring community of passionate believers, that we get to pray, sing, and fellowship with multiple times a week - I love it!

November 27th
For those of you who have been around Tehillah for a while, you may remember someone by the name of Trevor Meier coming around sometimes to speak at Tehillah conferences, etc. Well, not too long ago, we discovered that he had moved from Edmonton to Winnipeg a couple years ago and started a young adults ministry called "The Link" over here on Monday nights. I have yet to go to a service, but Joe has gone a couple times and really enjoys it. Well...on this particular Monday, they hosted a city-wide young adult gathering called "The Awakening" and asked us at SHOP to participate by leading a prayer cycle in the harp and bowl fashion, and to lead those who were attending in intercession for our city. Joe got to be part of the worship team as a prophetic singer and we all got to participate in the portion referred to as "rapid fire prayer" where around 50 people came to pray a short 10-20 second prayer on the microphone. Overall, the night was really great and the energy and Spirit of God in the place were amazing - it was awesome to feel the sense of the people joining together to pray for a common cause with such passion and intensity!

December 1st
We had a lovely Christmas party at Shane & Kristi's, complete with a re-gifting extravaganza that proved more beneficial for some than others! Ha! But it was a great night of wonderful food and fun games and lovely company. I also got to reconnect with some high school friends that I hadn't seen for over 6 years! Good times!

December 2nd
Well...on our way to another Christmas get-together at the Guse family residence, Joe and I were driving both vehicles so that we could leave the car with a mechanic to do some repairs in order for us to transfer our insurance over to Manitoba. Unfortunately, I was driving the truck, hit an icy patch, lost control and slid into a small light post of a gas station in Steinbach. Not so fun. I slid into it on the driver's door, which dented the door pretty good, smashed out the window & knocked over the light post. Fortunately, I was not hurt, and the only damage is to the door of the truck, which we now need to replace, but it could've been much worse. So, needless to say, that has delayed some things for our vehicles, but hopefully it will soon all be over and taken care of (I am praying!) and life can return to normal.

After the accident, and after crying a little, we headed to the Christmas party and had a really good time. It's amazing what food and friends can do for the soul! We enjoyed playing outside on the Guse's ice rink (I never stayed outside too long, as it was FREEZING outside), dangling our legs in the hot tub inside, and enjoying great, uplifting conversations. Joe and I ended up staying till past midnight, I think, chatting with Phil & Tricia - thanks for your hospitality and vulnerability!

December 6th

Harv and Sue from SHOP had us over for dessert and lattés at their home. We got to meet their dogs, who were quite affectionate. I loved their miniature poodle type dog - he was so cute and curly, like a little lamb, and very willing to cuddle - just my kind of animal! It made me want one of my own! It was nice getting to spend time with them in their home, one-on-one, which allows for more personal conversations and discovering more about these people who have become our spiritual family here in Winnipeg. Thanks Harv & Sue!

No, that's MY road!

2006-11-21T13:19:00.000-07:00

So while I was at my parents last weekend, I discovered a book that my mom had recently purchased - the autobiography of her massage therapist, Delia Knight. Now, normally, I probably wouldn't give a book like this a second glance, but there are a couple things about Delia that piqued my interest & caused me to take a closer look.

One, Delia grew up in the very same house that I grew up in - the title of her book, "That's My Road", showing a picture of the road in front of her former house, just happens to be "my" road as well and one I am very familiar with!

Two, I've been to Delia for a massage before & have seen her & her husband when they've come to visit and "look" at our house for memories sake - but they are not your average married couple. Delia has 5-10% vision and her husband John is completely blind. This in itself makes their story fascinating to me.

Well, let me tell you - once I started reading, I just couldn't stop! Her book completely drew me into the story of her childhood, marriage and raising her family. I think sometimes we are so very oblivious to the many stories represented by the people around us & we have no idea about all the challenges they have endured, all the victories won, all the adventures they've experienced. Perhaps, this is why blog-hopping has become such a phenomena, because we get the chance to see inside the lives of people in a way that normally wouldn't happen. We get to share in their pain & struggles and rejoice with them in their celebrations. This is what I felt as I read Delia's story.

It was first of all intriguing to read because the home she grew up in & the things she described about the house and farm were ones I was intimately familiar with & I was sitting there in that very house as I was reading the book! Even some of the places in Steinbach or Winnipeg that she mentions, or the people that were her friends, were ones that I knew as well. It made reading the book so different from your average story where your mind and imagination have to completely form the images and characters out of nothing.

But what was the most inspiring and encouraging was that while reading Delia's story, you were carried along on her journey and the many obstacles she encountered as a person with limited vision, and you got to see how it was Jesus who carried her through it all. So many times, He came and lifted her up with a scripture or a song, or a special touch of His peace and comfort. I couldn't help but love Him more by seeing how He had intervened and come to her rescue so many times when she needed Him most. I can't even begin to imagine the stories of God's goodness and faithfulness that we will hear when we meet all the other saints of history. Won't it be amazing to see how God was working behind the scenes in millions of lives around the globe throughout the ages?

I was also amazed by the community of people represented in Delia's journey. As a mostly blind woman, married to a completely blind man, you can imagine they had their share of struggle and hardship and pain. Yet, she mentioned countless names of people who gave of their time and resources to assist and help this couple & their family. Whether giving them rides, taking them to the grocery store, helping clean the house, helping with their 3 boys - the list of caring, kind-hearted, and selfless people in this book who truly took the messages of Jesus and walked them out is truly incredible! If only I could be someone like that, who stops being so self-centered, thinking only of my own struggles and cares, and instead thinking of others as better than myself and reaching out to those who are in need - this is what Jesus would do and this is who I would like to become. God, free us from selfishness!

And when I say I simply couldn't stop reading - I was not exaggerating! I was up until 5am that morning until I had finished the book! Her story gripped me and pulled me in - wanting to see how it all ended & see the result of God's grace and love in her life. It made me want to write out my story, knowing that God has done soooo much for me, while at the same time, wondering if I even had a story to tell? I think we can downplay our own testimony when it doesn't seem as dramatic as the next person's - but we truly do all have a story to tell & an incredible testimony of all that God has done in our lives. I think when we meet Him and see the full picture, we will be blown away by what He truly did for us, things that we don't even know He did! Wow, what a day that will be!!

Family Time

2006-11-21T12:19:00.000-07:00

Well, this last week(end) was full of family time! On Thursday, we had my sister Nicole & her husband Nick (of 2 months) over for dinner - it was great to get to have them at our place & feed them a nice meal of lasagna & then spend time just talking and playing games. It's weird, but we hadn't really hung out with them since they got married - life just seems to keep going & time flies by whether you like it or not & it isn't always easy to spend time with all the people you'd like to. So, it was nice that we finally got to do just that.

Then, since we have to switch over our vehicles' insurance and registration to Manitoba, we had to get the dreaded "safety" inspection. Well, the truck thankfully passed, but the car didn't do as well. So there are a few things that need to be repaired on the car, and to try and save money, Joe decided to attempt some of this on his own. So on Friday, we went to my parents so Joe could use my dad's garage & tools to change the brake pads on the car. It ended up being a longer & more difficult ordeal than he would've liked, so we ended up staying at their place for the night, instead of driving back to Winnipeg. Well, then we ended up hanging out with them all day Saturday too! And before we knew what hit us, my dad & Joe had gone to Nick & Nicole's to try and talk Nick out of a renovation project he wanted to do, but with Nick's salesman tactics, he talked them into helping him do it! So the men all started banging away & ripping out walls & building new ones, while us ladies made supper & played games - lol. All in all, though it was a really great weekend to spend time with some of the people that I love most.

Derek & Erin - you're next!!

Bad Blogger!

2006-11-10T12:26:00.000-07:00

Meaning me - I've been a bad blogger lately. It's been difficult, because when it's been a while since I last wrote a post, it feels overwhelming to try and catch up, so then I keep procrastinating, since it feels like such a big task - which of course, only makes the problem worse and then it's an endless cycle!! *Sigh*

But what's been happening lately, you ask? Hmmm...let's try this in point/paragraph form...

Work is going good - I'm working 20 hours a week, from home & loving it! I had fears about going antsy from being at home so much, but it's actually been really great and the benefits are so far outweighing any negatives. I love waking up in the morning, rolling out of bed, having breakfast with Joe, having my morning devotions & then heading to my desk for "work" in my bathrobe and slippers!! I'm also getting to some different things with my job that I wasn't doing when I was in Calgary, so I'm enjoying the diversity.
SHOP 10-day fast - For those of us who call Sanctuary House of Prayer our community of faith, we had a corporate 10 day fast to seek God and His direction for the next steps ahead of us. It was a really good 10 days and God's grace was totally with us to persevere through the challenges. As far as I know, there were no angelic visitations or throne room experiences, but overall it seems like God was wanting to put His finger on some personal issues and consecrate us for His purposes. To break our fast, a bunch of us got together for a pizza party & to watch the movie "Cars" - very fun times!! As for the future, we are still praying for His guidance as we look into possibilities for a building to call our own - so if you think of us, pray for wisdom for us in this area!
Wart healed - random thing I just thought of and wanted to share - a wart that I've had on my foot for several years was healed and disappeared recently! lol! Praise God!
Omega - This last Monday, Joe & I hosted our first Omega class, which is an 8-week course on the study of the End-Times!! We are attending it (not leading) and providing our home as a place to meet for a group of about 8-10 people who are eager to learn more about this fascinating and frightening topic! More and more, I am realizing the importance for me to know about these things so that I can be prepared, watchful and ready for Jesus' return.
SHOP Miscellaneous - Since we arrived here in Winnipeg, Joe & I have been attending the internship with about 6 other young adults on Mondays & Tuesdays, which has been really great! We've also been participating in the 7 hour prayer meetings that we have every Sunday & we love it!! Sometimes we'll sing on a team, sometimes we'll pray on the mic for something in Winnipeg, sometimes we'll just sit & soak and read our Bibles or pray inwardly, sometimes we'll read a book or do some Bible study, and every week Joe & I lead one of the 1-hour prayer sets. During that time we "go deeper" into a Bible passage by praying through it & singing spontaneously about it, asking God to give us greater revelation into that portion of scripture and it has been really enjoyable! I've also been getting more opportunities to get better at playing piano & also playing together with Joe as he plays guitar. So... so far, I've found that getting to be at a house of prayer is truly an amazing way to just grow in intimacy with Jesus.
The Weather - has not been too bad. We had a good snowfall the day before Halloween and we thought it was here for good, but then a few warm days caused it all to melt. The temperatures are definitely dropping though & soon I will be forced to start bundling up more when we go out. But I just got some really cute new winter boots with some belated birthday money from Joe's parents, so I'm all set!

Well, I think that's enough for one post! Hopefully that gives a fairly good update on what's been going on with us. Tonight, Joe & I are going to my parents for supper - yay! Should be good!

Letters to God...Unanswered??

2006-11-03T10:28:00.000-07:00

Today I read an article on CNN telling the account of a bag found floating off the coast of New Jersey, full of about 300 letters written to a local minister requesting prayer for a variety of woes. The minister they were addressed to was discovered to have died 2 years ago at the age of 79 and many of the letters had not even been opened. This story evoked several different feelings in me...

1. I believe that while these letters may have been discarded, unopened, and unread by human eyes, that they did not go unseen by the eyes of the all-knowing God. He saw every tear, He heard every groan of the heart, He watched as they penned their requests and pain, even if they didn't speak their prayers to Him directly. He hears the cries of the hurting and He longs to answer and pour out His love on anyone who would seek Him.

2. It's amazing to me the number of requests and needs that are represented by just one small church in North America and I can imagine that it would be overwhelming for any minister who is trying to cover his flock in prayer on a regular basis. How many other ministers are there who lack volunteer support or the time to be able to present the requests of their church to God?

3. Which leads me to my third response, which is simply that I am reminded again of the importance of prayer - both for the individual and for the corporate church body. It is so vital that people have an understanding and ability to approach the throne of grace with confidence to present their requests to a loving God. They need to know that they can go to Him any time without the assistance of a minister or anybody to act as their representative - they can have direct access to the God of the Universe through the person of Jesus! Yet, at the same time, I totally believe in the value of the church providing prayer support for their family - we can all use and often need the prayers of other believers! It is my prayer and hope that all church families would be able to offer this kind of support for each other.

Trip to IHOP & ANOTHER move!!

2006-10-18T12:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I had an amazing time at the International House of Prayer (IHOP) in Kansas City last week! The sessions we attended for the conference were all really good & I received a lot from Holy Spirit through the speaker's teaching. Interestingly enough, what He was saying was a lot of corrective stuff, but in the Bible it says that the Lord disciplines those He loves, so I actually felt very loved through it all. I also had lots of time to soak it all up in the prayer room - I loved how it was actually available 24/7 and I could go in any time I wanted! I spent time in there reading my Bible, praying, journalling, crying, listening, singing, studying, etc. It was fabulous! I also got to know a few of the people here at Sanctuary House of Prayer in Winnipeg a lot better, which was really cool. We had lots of great conversations and I'm quite sure I grew just from talking with them. Thanks guys! And thanks Jesus for meeting with me this last week - I look forward to many more meetings with You!

Then, as soon as I returned from our trip, it was time to move again! On Monday, we moved from the tiny town of Blumenort into our new place in Winnipeg! We are renting a fabulous old house & I love it already! I also started working with my previous place of work in Calgary again this week. I can't tell you how much I love being able to work from home & sit here at my desk in my comfy, cozy house coat!

I'm also looking forward to getting a really good schedule in place to help me manage my time with work, SHOP and my personal time with God in prayer and Bible study, etc. I know it's going to require some hard work and discipline, but IT'S GOING TO BE WORTH IT! I am excited about cultivating my relationship with the Almighty God and my Beloved Bridegroom Jesus Christ. I'll keep you posted...

Going to Kansas City!!

2006-10-10T16:23:00.000-07:00

I spontaneously decided to go with some friends on a trip to Kansas City to attend a conference at the International House of Prayer!! I'm super excited about going and soaking in everything that God has for me there. We're leaving tonight & driving the 13-14 hours there, returning on Sunday. Then, on Monday we move into our new home in Winnipeg! It'll be busy, but good!

Smashing Pumpkins

2006-10-07T20:22:00.000-07:00

Okay...not smashing - more like blending.

Today me & my mom baked a HUGE pumpkin & then blended it, putting it in little baggies to freeze for future baking extravaganzas. I now have enough pumpkin for 10 loaves of pumpkin bread - YUMMY! (And that was from just half of the pumpkin!)

God is Faithful!!! (Why do we ever doubt?)

2006-10-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

I am continually amazed at God's faithfulness. I don't know why I am always surprised when He works things out for us - it's as if His history of always being faithful isn't good enough & we still doubt His goodness! But, even when our faith is as tiny as a mustard seed, He takes that and works on our behalf.

After a couple weeks of frustrating and disappointing searches for a place to live in Winnipeg, within 48 hours we all of a sudden had 3 options to choose from! So, what God ended up providing us with is the house of some people who are involved at Sanctuary House of Prayer. They recently purchased a new house & had some trouble selling their previous home, so they're going to rent it to us at a reduced cost until they are ready to put it back on the market. This is perfect for us, because by that time, we might be ready to sell our house in Calgary and purchase here in Winnipeg as well! Plus, it is HUGE and GORGEOUS and it's this old character house that was built in 1913, but has been remodelled and includes 4 bedrooms!! Thank you Jesus!!! I am very excited to move in and live there and have this whole place to ourselves instead of living in a big apartment building!

Secondly, today I just worked out an agreement with my old company in Calgary so that I can work part-time for them remotely from here in Winnipeg! I will be working about 20 hours a week and get the flexibility of choosing my own hours, while also getting to work from home, which is absolutely amazing! I'll be making the same wage and also getting benefits, plus it's a job that I am familiar with and enjoy doing. Isn't God good!?!?! I feel so blessed and grateful for God's provision and love for His children!

Fragile - Don't Drop!

2006-09-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

Often I feel that my love for Jesus is like a delicate wine glass that requires a label plastered across it's face - FRAGILE!! Handle with care!! It is so susceptible to breaking, seemingly any rough handling could cause it to fall to pieces. One moment, I feel as though my passion for Jesus is soaring upon the heights and the next it feels as though my love for Him has been shattered. Perhaps an even better analogy would be that my heart feels like it's made of ice - cold and brittle - instead of flesh which is warm and alive. Dropping an ice sculpture is irreparable.

There are many moments where I don't feel the desire to spend time with Him, I don't want to read my Bible or pray or do anything spiritual - and when I feel that way, I question myself, "Do I truly love Him? What if I don't??" And the enemy comes in his favorite role as the accuser of the brethren to answer my despairing questions, "Yes, it's true. You don't really love Him and He doesn't really love you either." I feel the weeds of condemnation and shame coming to choke me and my heart feels like stone within my chest.

But then, all of a sudden, Jesus Himself comes to confront the lies of the enemy. Like He did with Peter, Jesus comes to challenge my self-anaylsis. Peter had denied that he even knew Jesus three times and had abandoned his calling to ministry to go back to fishing. Yet he encountered the resurrected Jesus who asked him this question, "Peter, do you love me?" If Peter felt anything like I do, the cry inside was, "I don't know if I love you - the actions of my life sure seem to say that I don't!" Yet, when I look into the eyes of Jesus and I see His undying love for me, when I see the jealous flame of passion in His eyes, when I see the compassion and understanding, I am undone & instead I respond, "Yes, Jesus you know that I love you!" How could I not??

And yet, I still know that my love is fragile and my heart cries, "Lord, handle my heart with care. Hold it in your tender hands. Keep my love for you safe from the accuser and from the weeds that would seek to choke it out."

"A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out." (Isaiah 42:3)

In Isaiah it fortells of Jesus and that He will be compassionate and gentle with us in our weakness and fragile condition. He doesn't condemn us when we are bruised and smoldering, He does not point His finger at us in judgment and disgust. Instead He says, "I will strengthen your weak frame and I will again set your heart ablaze where it has been extinguished." He says...

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." (Ezekiel 36:26)

Yes, do it in me God!

Move to Manitoba - Part 6 - At All Times

2006-09-27T08:52:00.000-07:00

"I will bless the Lord at all times..." Psalm 34:1

In many ways, our move to Manitoba has been a huge adjustment for me. There are so many differences and changes from the way things used to be and what we were familiar with in Calgary. Every day I am realizing more and more how different Winnipeg is from Calgary. Besides the crazy layout and naming convention for the streets, there are also many one-way streets, many narrow streets with parking only on one side, all these "No-left-turn" or "No-U-Turn" signs everywhere, and the houses and buildings all look like they are 60-100 years old. When driving through the city, we have had our share of moments where it's like, "We're not in Kansas (Calgary) anymore!"

We have also been trying to find a place to live in Winnipeg and the whole rental market and the way they do things is very different from Calgary as well! Nothing is the same, which has made it difficult for our minds to adjust and figure out how to adapt to their system. We had a couple frustrating days, but we are still hopeful. We found one really nice apartment that we are praying we get, but if we don't, we're believing God has something better that He will provide for us. It's truly all in His hands. We do our part by making phone calls, looking at places, filling out application forms, etc. but then after that, we can only choose to trust God and trust that He knows our needs and desires, and that by seeking His kingdom first, all our needs will be provided for (Matthew 6:33). We needed to read that portion in Matthew 6 about not worrying several times when we got flustered, to remind us that He is a good Father and takes care of His children. Increase our faith, God!

But through all of this, we have been able to spend a lot of time with the people at Sanctuary House of Prayer, in prayer meetings, at Starbucks for coffee, in the internship spending time in meditation on God's Word or listening to various teaching series, and WE LOVE IT!!!! All of those things are the highlights of our week. What could be better than spending time in God's presence, simply enjoying Him and getting to know Him better? We have loved the opportunities we've had to be involved in singing and leading worship in the prayer meetings - we were made for this! We were made for intimacy with God. We were made for partnership with God. We were made for such a time as this, to join with God and His purposes for our generation and the city He has us in.

So whether in good times or hard times, whether laughing with friends or seeing yet another dumpy apartment, whether enjoying our time off or getting a flat tire, whether spending time with family or getting stuck in a traffic jam - we will bless the Lord AT ALL TIMES!!!

Move to Manitoba - Part 5 - 3rd Honeymoon

2006-09-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

Lastly, after the wedding, Joe & I decided to go on a little vacation, which we jokingly referred to as our "3rd Honeymoon", since I had called a weekend getaway last fall our "2nd Honeymoon". :) We drove approximately 3 hours north to a cabin resort on the shore of Lake Winnipeg for 4 days & 4 nights. The cabin was beautiful, secluded, with a fantastic view of the sun rising over the lake each morning. We saw eagles, several deer, and a cute little weasel thing (I have no idea what it actually was).

We spent our mornings reading our Bibles and singing while Joe played guitar, then we'd have lunch, go for a walk or go canoeing in the afternoon, and then after supper we'd watch a movie with popcorn and cafe mochas. One night, we took our cafe mochas outside and lay on a blanket on a dock and looked up at the incredibly stunning & fascinating starry sky, marvelling at God's goodness towards us, His creativity, His power & His beauty. Between the two of us, we also saw probably a dozen shooting stars! We couldn't have asked for a more perfect vacation.

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Move to Manitoba - Part 4 - Nick & Nicole's Wedding

2006-09-23T17:48:00.000-07:00

Another huge part of the few weeks has been the wedding of my younger sister Nicole. Since I was the maid of honor, and Joe was a groomsman as well, we wanted to be available to help however we could. I went for dress fittings with Nicole, planned a lingerie shower for her, Joe attended a bachelor poker party for Nick, there were more showers to go to, and then helping prepare the decorations for the reception.

The day itself was beautiful & besides a little rain that had the wedding party dashing around an outdoor museum & trying not to get soaked, everything went perfectly! Nick was a complete mess during the ceremony, crying on numerous occassions, which didn't help those of us who were trying not to cry! The reception was great, and I gave a speech for my sister, and then Joe & I drove them to their hotel in Winnipeg so that they could catch their flight early the next morning for their honeymoon cruise.

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Move to Manitoba - Part 3 - The Move

2006-09-23T12:04:00.000-07:00

So, after we completed our farewell tour, we proceeded to pack up our house. My parents drove out to Calgary with a huge trailer and helped us move everything out to the prairie province of Manitoba. I drove the car with my mom & my dad hauled the trailer with his big truck, and Joe had to stay behind for an extra week to make sure everything went smooth in the transition of tenants moving out & in to our house. So, for now, we are renting out our house in Calgary for probably about a year until we feel we are ready to purchase something in Winnipeg. Here are pictures of our move & our current apartment (which we are moving out of at the end of this month!)

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The place we're living right now has been good to us so far. We got a pretty sweet deal that involved free rent to paint the place. So, we spent several days in a bit of chaos as we painted the entire apartment, but now things are back to normal. We also get to experience the lovely smells of the farming community around us, which is a bit of a change from the city! But, soon enough we expect to be back in the city again, so we will be packing & moving once more & hopefully (fingers crossed) not again for a long time!

Move to Manitoba - Part 2 - My Birthday

2006-09-23T12:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess technically my birthday has nothing to do with us moving away, but it happens to be right in the middle of all the action, so it gets thrown in the mix. For my birthday, Joe dyed my hair the previous night, and planned the next day so that we could go get pictures taken of us in a park in the city. We hadn't really had any pictures taken of us since we got married, so we asked our friend Tammy to take a few of us and we had a lot of fun doing it!

After that, we drove out in the mountains in the Bragg Creek area & went for a walk in the forest, along a little creek and just enjoyed the scenery and each others company. We went out for lunch, got some ice cream from the famous homemade ice cream shop in Cochrane, and then headed to a BBQ at a co-workers house. The whole day was just lovely!

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Oh! I almost forgot this one! The day after my birthday, we went out for supper to Montana's with my parents, who had come to help us move & Joe totally surprised me by requesting their unique birthday wishes for me. :)

Move to Manitoba - Part 1 - Farewell Tour

2006-09-23T09:39:00.000-07:00

So, I finally have highspeed internet again, combined with actual time to blog!! It's been a bit of whirlwind ever since we told people the big news that we were moving & it wasn't long before the farewell tour began. Here is a montage to our friends & family in Calgary that we are missing dearly...

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We got to spend many amazing dinners, coffees, farewell parties, etc. with all these wonderful people that we love, and it was a great way to move on, feeling their love for us. Thanks everyone!! (Forgive me anyone who I spelled your names wrong!)

Busy!!

2006-08-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

Hi all...

Well, it's been super busy for us lately, hence the lack of blogging. For about a week & a half, we were showing our basement and main floor suites to potential tenants and gathering application forms, calling references, getting credit checks, etc., etc., etc. But we finally have selected our new renters & are quite pleased with the results. It's definitely a crazy market in Calgary at this time with such low vacancy rates, so there was no lack of applicants, it was just a matter of finding the right ones. For a while though, we were going crazy with the phone calls, and we'd have 20 messages on our voicemail every day!

We also have been busy getting together with all our friends for many lunches, coffees, dinners, parties, etc. to say our good-byes. You can be expecting a montage of pictures coming soon from all these various events! :)

Another piece of interesting news is that Joe shot a nail through his finger on Monday! Sadly I do not have any gruesome pictures to put up, but a picture is coming soon of the nail and we can re-enact the event for you! :) Luckily, he did not hit the bone & he is recovering well, with virtually no pain - so thank you Jesus for your protection!

Also coming up, we both have our last day at work this Friday!! Then my parents will be driving out to Calgary with a big trailer to help us with our move and will be arriving on Saturday (my birthday!). So this Sunday and Monday we will be packing and then on Tuesday, the 29th, I will be driving back with my parents. Joe is going to stay in Calgary for another week or so to make sure everything goes smoothly with our current tenants moving out & the new ones moving in. He will also be doing some painting in the basement suite and cleaning the carpets, etc.

This will leave me to move into our new temporary home at my parents place. They have 2 bachelor suites on their property in the country and we will be renting one of them for the month of September while we look for jobs and a more permanent home, probably in Winnipeg.

But we haven't even started packing yet!! There is so much stuff left to be done that it is rather overwhelming! I will just be glad once it is all over and done with!

Family Fun

2006-08-08T13:01:00.000-07:00

Joe & I spent this last weekend with Joe's family at a camp site and had a really good time! Everyone was in their R.V.'s, and Joe & I "roughed it" in a huge tent with a double air matress and lots of thick blankets. :) Basically it was a weekend full of eating, enjoying the sun, camp fires, talks, beach, and sleeping in. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful way to spend time with all of them before we move to Winnipeg - thanks Jesus!

Click here to see the larger slideshow

However, I am now trying not to itch my scalp, since I discovered that while I put 45 sunscreen everywhere on my body, I failed to consider the part in my hair between my french-braided pigtails, which exposed my very white skin to the blazing sun all afternoon on the beach - ouch!

Fear of the Unknown

2006-08-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

Okay...of all the things that I am afraid of in our upcoming move to Winnipeg, one of my greatest fears is the street system. I personally hate driving when I don't know where I'm going and exactly how to get there. In all my life living in Manitoba, I only ever went to church and the mall in Winnipeg & both were relatively easy to get to & I had no desire to investigate the deeper realms of the city for fear of the unknown. But now that I am faced with the possibility of living in this city, I am going to be forced to learn it's meandering, disorganized, and confusing streets. Let me illustrate with a map of Calgary and Winnipeg...

Calgary has a very self-explanatory system of naming its streets with most of them going North-South or East-West, with the city nicely divided into quadrants, making places very easy to find. Winnipeg on the other hand...I do not see any rhyme or reason to the naming or placing of its streets (why are they all diagonal??) - is there a method to the madness???? I am most definitely certain to get completely and entirely lost in this city!

It's (More) Official

2006-07-31T15:41:00.000-07:00

Well, Joe and I took a big step on Friday and gave our resignations at our jobs! It is definitely feeling more official - Winnipeg here we come! Our last day of work is August 25th, the day before my birthday! :) Then I'm sure the last week in August will be pretty crazy as we pack and do all the stuff that is involved with moving across 2 provinces.

Another big detail that has been hammered out is that my Uncle John & Auntie Jo who live here in Calgary have agreed to be our "Property Managers" and take care of landlord type duties for us so that we can rent out our house. This is a huge praise report and load off our minds! It's also looking like our renters in the basement might be moving upstairs (upgrade!) - so, in that case, we would just need to find new renters for our basement.

It was rather interesting giving my notice at work - everyone was really positive and mostly supportive of what I told them we were doing. I don't know if they really could have a concept of what a House of Prayer is truly about, but I'm imagining that there's a general consensus that prayer is a good thing. It could just be me, but it seems to me that the people at my workplace are just being "politically correct" and wouldn't say anything bad even if they thought what we we're doing is totally crazy. It could've been the perfect opportunity to be persecuted for Jesus - lol - but instead there is that prevailing attitude that you see nowadays, where it's like "You can find God your way and I'll find him my way - to each his own"! There are a couple of Muslims at my work as well, who I know believe in God and in prayer, but one has even expressed to me that they don't worry about converting Christians, because they believe that in the end, we will all be gathered to God, each brought by the person we chose to believe in - whether it be Moses for the Jews, Jesus for the Christians, or Muhammad for the Muslims. I think for the most part, people are just tolerant and accepting of whatever religion you choose, which is actually kind of frustrating!

On another interesting note, when I gave my notice, my boss offered me the opportunity to still work for them part-time, remotely from Winnipeg. I am torn about this offer, because there are certain pros and cons...

Cons
1. Working remotely is VERY, VERY SLOW! This can be especially aggravating and waste time.
2. I'd be working at home all by my lonesome. I could get lonely without any human interaction, I'd possibly get really stir-crazy from being at home too much, I could get distracted by other things at home, and I'd have no opportunity to form new relationships like I would at a new job in Winnipeg.
3. The one client that I'd most likely be doing work for can be very demanding and needy - therefore, I don't know how well they would adjust to only having me available part-time, and possibly on an unpredictable schedule - I can just imagine getting paged or emailed or called at ridiculous times when I didn't plan on working because they want something from me.
4. I would want the flexibility of choosing my hours, but my boss might not let me & my client might not "let" me. (This is more of a possible con, as these details have not been discussed)

Pros
1. I wouldn't have to look for a job.
2. There is the possibility that I could choose my own hours.
3. I'd be working from home all by my lonesome. Yes, this is both a pro and a con. It is still nice to be able to work from the comfort of your couch in your pajamas if you should so choose!
4. Like my mother pointed out, if we had kids (which we aren't), but if we did, it would be a great job to have so that I could be at home with them & still work. (This is a future possible pro)

At the moment, I cannot think of any more pros & cons...what do you think??

My Babies

2006-07-21T15:28:00.000-07:00

Here are my babies that I have been nurturing through drought, flood & hail storm. These are the two prettiest ones (the rest are either still waiting to bloom, or are shrivelling up - lol).

Jesus loves me

2006-07-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

Jesus loves me.

How do I know, you ask?

Because He told me so.

Wanna know how he told me?

Well, I've been "baby-sitting" my friend Jen's piano for the last couple years while she was away in California. This last weekend she arrived back in Calgary and asked me if she might have her piano back. Of course I don't have a choice in the matter - haha - and I said of course, she could come pick it up anytime. But I also mentioned I had been dreading this day, because I am very sad to part with it. While we were talking, I also told her about our plans to move to Winnipeg in September and she was very excited for us in this new venture of bein involved at the Sanctuary House of Prayer.

Yesterday, Joe and I were singing together while I played piano and when we were done, I gave the piano a hug, knowing I didn't have very many days left with her.

Today, I was chatting with Jen on MSN and she said that she had a proposition for me. How would I feel about continuing to baby-sit her piano for the rest of the summer until we moved to Winnipeg? This was my response, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

To me, it was like Jesus just came and gave me a hug and told me He loved me, because He cared about this little desire of my heart and answered it, without me asking Jen myself (even though I was tempted to).

I love you too, Jesus - you're pretty much the most amazing guy I know.

Trip to Winnipeg

2006-07-11T18:50:00.000-07:00

Well, we couldn't have asked for a more amazing trip to Winnipeg this last weekend!

We started driving Thursday at 7pm MT and drove all through the night to arrive at my parents' home at 8:30 CT - we made it 12 1/2 hours!! That is a record! We also got to see some pretty cool lightning storms and a beautiful sunrise as we drove.

We then went to Falcon Lake with my mom to meet my dad for lunch, who was building a 4-tier deck at somebody's cabin. So Joe & I got to swim and play in the lake for a while, which was great fun. :)

Then Nick (sister's fiance) and my brother Derek came over to join the rest of us for supper and at this time, Joe & I told them the real reason for our visit...

Derek was convinced I was pregnant, and anyone else might've thought we were just going to visit our family, but there was a hidden motive for our trip. For the last 2 years or so, Joe and I have been listening to hours and hours of teaching from a place called the International House of Prayer in Kansas City where they have been praying and worshiping 24/7 non-stop for the last 7 years. As a result of this, our hearts were set ablaze with the desire to devote ourselves to Jesus wholeheartedly in seeking His face in intimacy and intercession. Over the last 2 years, we considered going to Kansas City to join them and become intercessory missionaries, but God told us "no". So we waited and then thought that perhaps we were supposed to start a House of Prayer in Calgary, but God told us "no". And then, through a "chance" encounter via the blogs of Shane & Kristi Farrow, we discovered a group of people who had started a House of Prayer in Winnipeg and we asked God, "Is this it???" and God told us "yes"!

So, in response to the counsel of our pastor, we decided to make a trip to meet everyone at Sanctuary House of Prayer in Winnipeg and have the opportunity to ask them lots of questions and check out their prayer meetings. On Saturday, we had a BBQ and swimming party at the house of a couple who are a part of SHoP with a few others and got to hang out and talk and just have a good time. Then on Sunday, we went to their prayer meeting from 4-9:30pm and we had a blast!! We were in our element and loving every minute of it! Afterwards, we all went out to a restaurant and met more people and talked of our hopes and plans to join them come September. (Check out Joe praying in the video below, accompanied by the prophetic singers and musicians!)

So there it is! We are moving to Winnipeg to join our hearts and efforts with those at Sanctuary House of Prayer to see God's purposes accomplished in our lives and the city of Winnipeg. We are so excited and can hardly wait to go, yet at the same time it will be difficult to leave the church and friends here in Calgary that we have come to love so dearly.

At the present moment, our plans are to work part-time in Winnipeg so that we can give more time to being involved with SHoP. We are also planning to rent out our house here in Calgary, so if you know anyone who's looking to rent the main floor of a house, let us know!

Also, we intensely covet your prayers in this next season as there will be many big decisions to be made and we will desperately need the wisdom and guidance of Holy Spirit. And we'd love to hear your questions or comments about what we're doing and tell you more about our journey and what God has been doing in our lives, so don't hesitate to give us a call or send us an email!

Hailstorm

2006-07-06T19:00:00.000-07:00

Right before we were about to leave on a weekend trip out to Manitoba, our house was plummeted with a hailstorm!! If I was worried for my flowers before because of rain, you can imagine how I was feeling watching them being attacked by large marble-sized pieces of ice!!

Uprooting the evil weeds!

2006-07-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

The Canada Day weekend we did some major weeding in front of our house! We also discovered a daisy plant! Below you can see the first fruits of my gardening debut and also a cool spiderweb that I found in the back of Joe's truck.

Rainy Days

2006-06-23T08:47:00.000-07:00

Well, we've been experiencing an abundance of downpours lately and every time it rains, I worry incessantly about my dear little flowers that I just planted. See, I chose them because they like the sunshine and won't get any shade along the sidewalk, but this also means that they aren't too fond of a lot of water. So, we had another hard rain on Wednesday and I was able to capture some pictures of my poor flowers nearly drowning in the flood waters!

ALSO - Check out the new feature I have added - Videos!! I had them before on my old blog, but I hadn't added them to this one yet. There is also a new (kind of boring) video showing the rain storm above - so click here for your viewing pleasure!

Flowers from my Sweetie

2006-06-16T07:10:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to brag on my sweetie who bought me flowers "just because". Aren't they beautiful?

Landscaping!

2006-06-10T17:37:00.000-07:00

Today we spent the afternoon doing some more work on our yard. It was great fun, digging up the dirt and pulling weeds and then planting some flowers along our sidewalk.

Joe spent most of the time fixing the rest of our sidewalk which had grass growing up between the cracks and was all crooked. You can also see the gross ant colony that was beneath it! I also want to point out that while the finished product of our sidewalk looks crooked, it really is straight - it's just that our steps are totally off-kilter!

Overall, I'm just so proud of what we did, even though it was really little. :)

Fragrance of Life

2006-06-10T09:09:00.000-07:00

When I was about 15 years old, I went on a retreat for women, along with several other young girls. During one session, the women leading had a basket with several scriptural names on them that had been anointed with oil and prayed over. We then proceeded to pick one out of the basket and believed that it was a special name for us from the Lord. (Kristi, you'll remember this because your email address is based on the name you received. Strange how something like that can impact you, hey?) Well, my name happened to be "Fragrance of Life", taken from 2 Corinthians 2:14-16.

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?"

Somehow, this name from the Lord has remained with me over the last almost 10 years now. It seems to be imprinted into my spiritual DNA as a part of my identity and who I am to be. Interestingly, at our conference last weekend, I had two people tell me that I had the fragrance of Jesus on me. When they said this, I was reminded of what one of the speakers had mentioned in his message. Imagine that you are entering into a place where food is being prepared and it's been a while since you've eaten. The aroma of freshly baked cinnamon buns, or perhaps a turkey basting in the oven, wafts through the air and you breathe in the tantalizing scent of it. As soon as you smell it, you have this sudden realization of just how hungry you are! You may not have thought of it prior to coming into this place, but now that you smelled the food, your stomach growls, your mouth waters, your nose twitches! Your body is awakened to its desire to be satisfied and fulfilled.

In the past, I have often wondered if my fragrance was like that of a sweet perfume or a scented rose (which at times, it very well may be), but I have now found myself desiring to smell like food! (Now that I think about it, I have always been drawn to perfumes that smell like raspberries or other delicious fruit - I like to smell yummy!) Here's why - when people smell the spiritual fragrance coming from my life, I want it to cause them to realize that they are hungry for more of Jesus. Or perhaps they've never known Him and when they meet me, their spiritual appetite will be awakened and they will be hungry for whatever it is that I have. I want to make people hungry!!

In Song of Songs 4:16 it says, "Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that is fragrance may spread abroad."

I want my life to be like a garden, full of the abundantly satisfying fruit of Jesus, so that when the wind of the Holy Spirit breathes upon me, it causes a fragrance to go forth into the world, awakening their spiritual hunger for a love that is everlasting, a joy that is everflowing, a grace that is unending.

Yet, it works both ways. Lately, I have found myself wandering through the blogs of men and women who are pursuing after the heart of God with tenacity and passion. They are seeking after the unsearchable riches of who He is. They are casting aside everything that hinders, considering all things rubbish in comparison with the supreme pleasures of knowing Christ. They are longing, aching, craving for more of Him and doing whatever it takes to have Him. Ohhhhhhh, they make me hungry!!!!! Something in my spirit groans and quivers with hunger pangs. I smell the fragrance coming from their lives and it causes me to want more than what I am experiencing. But do I want it badly enough to forsake the pleasures of this world? To even forsake the food this world has to offer in order to go after what will truly satisfy?

Matthew 4:4 ~ "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God."

John 4:13-14 ~ "Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

I long for the words of my God to come and sustain my soul, giving me life, energy and strength. Lord, show me the glory of your Word and its complete sufficiency to satisfy the longings of my heart for intimacy! Give me drink of your Spirit, the drink that delights, enthralls, fascinates, and exhilarates my heart. Come and empower me to pursue You, forsaking all others, "for your love is more delightful than wine." (Song of Songs 1:2)

New Blog Skin!!

2006-06-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I was getting super bored with my old blog skin, so it was time for a change - whaddya think??

Tired

2006-06-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

I'm tired.

But overall happy. It was a good weekend at our Tehillah conference "At the Edge" - a rather interesting weekend, actually. And since this is a rather long post, I will bold the highlights for those who wish to skim. :)

It started Friday evening - I headed over to the church right after work to help set up and do registration. I missed the actual service that night due to my duties, but everything went smoothly, so that was good. We also met the 3 young men who we would be billeting at our house for the weekend - James, Bryce, and Riley. I was just happy to have 3 boys, because then I knew that it wouldn't be as big of a fight for the bathroom - haha!

Saturday morning we got to enjoy the preaching of Matt Tapley from Tehillah Niagara - it was a really good word on the "Edge of Leadership" as demonstrated by Moses' challenges leading the Israelites. What really spoke to me was the portion from Exodus 33:1-3 and the decision Moses was faced with - would he choose success in battle accompanied only by an angel, or would he choose intimacy & cry out for God's personal presence on their journey? Success vs. Intimacy.

Saturday afternoon Joe & I were involved in helping to administrate the prayer ministry sessions that were available to conference registrants. People could sign up for appointments to receive prayer and prophetic encouragement or counsel and Joe & I and our friend Jaimee took turns soaking them in prophetic worship before they went into their session.

Saturday evening Joe & I helped with the Divine Conversation, which is a method of allowing for the prophetic gift to be released in the service in a way that doesn't disrupt the flow of worship. People are encouraged to listen for God to speak to them during the worship and to write down and submit their words to us, who were acting as facilitators. We would then in turn decide which words to put up on the screens that were set up to display these words to the people. It's really a fabulous way to help people grow in their prophetic gifts, while maintaining order in the service and flowing with what the Spirit is doing.

We then were blessed to hear a word from Nolan Clark, the lead pastor of The Feast in Kamloops, BC (husband to Heather Clark). He spoke about the story in 2 Kings 6:1-7 where a young prophet loses his "edge" (axehead) and how through a miracle of God, it is recovered. It was a powerful challenge to me about where I have lost my "edge" or passion in different areas of my life & to call out to God to help me find where I lost it & to restore it to me.

Sunday morning, Matt Tapley was speaking again and he taught on how to allow God to continually make us to be new wineskins that are able to receive the outpouring of His new wine. Because if we rely on our former experiences from past moves of God, we will be like old wineskins, expecting God to move in the same way as last time, but when He pours out a new wine, we are unable to receive it, we burst and both the wineskin and the wine are lost. This was really good for me to not be close-minded to new and different moves of God that are coming, because God will not conform to the way that I may think that He should come!

Sunday afternoon we got to participate in the Global Day of Prayer in the Calgary Saddledome which drew about 5000 Christians from different denominations to join together with millions from around the globe to pray for our city, nation and world. It was powerful for the simple fact that there was a spirit of unity there in the church, joining in one accord for one purpose because of One God!

Sunday evening John Raymer from Ottawa spoke about our need for the baptism of fire. Oddly enough, we had a first hand experience that night when we got home after the service that was evidence of our need for this fire of the Holy Spirit and power in our lives.

When we came home, our new renters who had just moved in, were having a fire in our back yard with a few friends. They invited us to join them, so we did, and it didn't take long before the conversation turned towards God. It turns out that our renters mother, who was there, got saved at our church several years ago, but no longer goes to church. She still believes in God and even speaks in tongues, but has since fallen away from God. This opened up so many things - we started talking to them about speaking in the Spirit and our belief in Jesus and sharing our testimonies with all these young people. It was quite an extraordinary experience! Mind you, a few of them were rather drunk, which made for some interesting debates, but nevertheless, it was just amazing how the Holy Spirit opened up that door for us to share with our renters and their friends about Jesus!

Then, Monday morning, we got a little surprise and found out that our hot water tank was broken - it had a hole in it and had started leaking all over our basement floor. Luckily (or rather, thanks to Jesus!) we caught it in time before it got too bad! So, that added some extra excitement to our morning (especially after having only gotten to bed around 2am). So, Joe made arrangements to get it replaced, which set us back several hundred dollars, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Yet, the Lord had already made arrangements for me, it seems, because we were hosting a spa for the conference attendees where they could get a free spa treatment, and I went up there and they were able to wash & blow dry my hair for me, since I wasn't able to have a shower that morning. :) They even did my makeup too! But the best part was that I had signed up for my free spa appointment & got to receive a massage! I love massages! So fabulous!

I then spent a lot of time just on my own with God, journalling and reading my Bible and simply enjoying the time to relax in His presence and process some of the things He'd been speaking to me. Then Monday night, our pastor Steve Osmond spoke about being extreme and the danger of trying to be "balanced" and find this perfect middle. Yet, our perfect balance is actually somebody else's "extreme" - so really, there is no perfect balance out there. It is a matter of flowing with the various moves of God and going to the extreme, but remaining focused on Jesus so that we don't destroy ourselves. It was a really good message, encouraging us to move out of the seemingly "safe zone" - because really, if you only stay where it's "safe", you'll never go anywhere and you'll die on the inside.

And that was our weekend. So now we are have NO PLANS for a while - yay! haha.

Busy

2006-05-30T10:37:00.000-07:00

Well - basically, since my last post it has been the exact opposite. I've been super busy at work and with church stuff and our own every day lives. Work has been crazy for me lately and now we have a conference coming up this weekend at our church that Joe & I are quite involved in. So this week is also full of preparations for the conference and making sure everything is ready to go. We will be there all weekend long, as well as all day Monday & then it will be right back to work - AHHHH!!!! So if you read this, you can throw up a quick prayer for us that we will not be totally bagged after it's over! We also recently got new renters for our basement suite & have been trying to make some improvements to our yard. Fun times!

Bored

2006-05-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

I'm at work, but I have no work to do, therefore, I am extremely and utterly BORED. *Sigh*

Dreams & Other Updates

2006-05-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

This last weekend Joe & I attended a course on dream interpretation. Seeing as I dream regularly and have often had difficulty in discovering the meaning behind my dreams, I found the course really helpful! It especially helped me in learning what to focus on in the dreams and how to differentiate what details are important and which ones I can ignore. This has always been a problem for me, since my dreams are usually very detailed and I would get caught up in all the details that weren't necessarily important to finding the dream's interpretation. Also, we learned about symbols and colors and their meanings, as well as different ways to record your dreams that are faster and more creative, so that was cool. Joe & I also experimented in trying to interpret a dream that I had a few days before the course and it was totally amazing. Before, I don't think I would have had a clue what it meant, but from the principles we learned and knowing that dreams are like metaphors or parables, we were able to discover the main message of the dream, with the help of Holy Spirit. He totally gave us insight and revelation into some things in the dream & it was actually quite fun!

Then today, Joe & I went to Tehillah (our young adults service) to lead the pre-service prayer. Usually we have another girl who plays piano and sings with us, but today she was singing in the worship band for the service so she couldn't be there. So, I ended up playing piano for the whole hour, which I had never done before and it was a lot of fun! I really enjoyed it! Joe also played guitar with me for the first half hour. But, more importantly, what really made the prayer meeting enjoyable was the fact that God was there! His presence was there and it was just amazing as we entered into that place of intimacy and worship with Him. The energy in the room was incredible as everyone was participating and joining together in unity as we prayed for the young people in our church and our city. It was just awesome! Joe and I have struggled a bit in getting people to engage in the prayer meetings instead of just sitting back and observing, so we were encouraged today as people were participating and as we were able to support them and back them up by singing prophetically and singing what they were praying. I just thank and praise God for His faithfulness and for being with us today. Thank you Jesus!!

My New Shoes

2006-05-01T15:50:00.000-07:00

I really love them...

What else is there to say?

Little Lessons from God

2006-04-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

Lesson # 1

I was driving home from work the other day and whenever I am exiting off of Glenmore onto Deerfoot, there are always people who are trying to get off of Deerfoot and onto Glenmore. What upsets me is that they have a yield sign, which clearly means that they must yield to me and that it is not a merge, so I have absolutely no obligation to let them in. This has more than once made me angry when they cut in or when others stop to let them in, since they clearly have a yield sign. So, I was getting into my usual huff about this and the Lord whispered to me...

"Jacquie - that is a religious spirit."

And I was, like, "Come again??"

He replied, "A religious spirit is adamant about following the law to the "T", but grace would allow the other car in, even though the law does not require it of them."

I said, "Ahhhh...."

It was a moment of revelation for me - a new perspective on the attitude of the Pharisees that I too easily adopt.

Lesson # 2

Due to some things that have come up recently, I have come face-to-face with fear.

On Monday in particular, I came home from work, and it was like a cloud or wave of fear all of sudden came crashing over me and began to choke me. I felt overwhelmed and attacked.

As I shared this with Joe on our way to church that night, he reminded me of the parable of the seed. The day before at church Sunday morning, our pastor had preached a word about having faith for the impossible and trusting God. It was like the enemy was now coming with the intent to choke out that seed with the "worries of this life". We began to pray and sing into this passage and declare that we would trust God and not allow worry and fear to choke us.

During the service, there was a moment where the worship leader began to minister in the area of fear and prompted us to tell God our fears and allow Him to speak to us about it. I began to do this and tell God what I was afraid of and this is what I heard Him say...

"Guess what? I'm really, really good at driving away fear - if you'll let Me."

He was right. He's a lot better at it than me, so I should ask for His help. I forget sometimes. :)

Cultivating a Fiery Spirit

2006-04-20T16:10:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I was listening to a preaching series by Mike Bickle called "Cultivating a Fiery Spirit". As I listened, I would take notes to try and better absorb what was being said into my spirit. And yet, while it was very interesting, I wasn't finding myself being deeply impacted by the teaching. Tonight, I thought perhaps I was ready to move on to another preaching series. But my loving and wise husband said to me, "Be careful not to move on too quickly. You don't want to just sample preaching." We were even just talking earlier about not sampling the Word - a little morsel here and there - but challenging ourselves to go deep in the Word and take the extra time to allow it to make a lasting impact on our hearts.

So, instead of moving on, I decided to take several of the key scriptures from the teaching, sit down at the piano and start to sing and pray into them. Immediately I felt the difference that it made for me to take that time and meditate on the Word of God and ask Him to make those things real in my own life.

In Luke 24, two believers are walking down a road after Jesus' death, trying to wrap their minds around what has just happened, and where do they go from here? All of a sudden, Jesus meets them on the road and begins to speak with them, yet they do not recognize him. He says to them, "How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe..." At many times, I feel that this is the condition of my heart - slow, dull, asleep. Yet, as Jesus began to reveal the scriptures to them, they discovered that their hearts began to burn within them. This is what I desire - a burning heart - a fiery spirit - a flame that cannot be quenched.

I can't help but feel an urgency in my spirit that this becomes a reality in my life - the verses that really struck me were Ephesians 5:14-16 ~ "'Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.' Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." As another version says, "redeeming the time" - I want to redeem and make the most of the time I have on this earth to acquire a fiery spirit. I want those areas that are dead and asleep within me to come to life, to rise up from their slumber!!

Interestingly enough, these verses are soon followed by instructions to "speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord" (vs. 19) - I believe that the key for me will be singing these desires in my heart to the Lord. Writing this now, several weeks after I first tried singing these prayers, I already realize that it can't just be a one-time event. I need to pray and sing these things to God on a regular basis in order for them to actually take root in my heart. I need repitition - to pray without ceasing - if I want these desires to be fulfilled. My heart is slow to believe, slow to change, slow to act - it requires time and effort to rewire its circuits.

Jesus, awaken my spirit! Shine the blazing light of your beauty upon my heart - fascinate me, allure me, enthrall me, dazzle me with the beauty of your emotions and the power of your actions! Cause my heart to burn within me as you reveal the life in your words to me. May my spirit be set ablaze - quick to believe, quick to change, quick to act!

Awake, awake, O Jacquie,
clothe yourself with strength.
Put on your garments of splendor,
O Jacquie, holy daughter.
Shake off your dust,
rise up, sit enthroned,
O Jacquie.
Free yourself from the
chains on your neck!
(Isaiah 52:1-2)

4 Questions Survey

2006-04-04T14:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I got tagged by Kristi & I've been a little slow in responding, but here goes...

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD:
1. Deli employee at Penner Garden Market IGA (Now a Sobey's) - Steinbach
2. Loewen Windows assembly line worker - Steinbach
3. Church administrative assistant - Calgary
4. Computer programmer - Calgary

FOUR MOVIES/SHOWS I'VE BEEN ADDICTED TO:
1. Spaceballs
2. America's Next Top Model
3. Survivor (back in the day - Seasons 1-4)
4. Bachelor (before I found someone who surpassed them all)

FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED:
1. Steinbach, MB (when I was a baby)
2. Calgary, AB (when I was a baby)
3. In the country between Ste. Anne & Blumenort, MB (most of my life)
4. Calgary, AB (since 2000 - 6 different homes)

FOUR COUNTRIES I WOULD LIKE TO VISIT:
1. Israel - walk where Jesus walked
2. New Zealand - looks so beautiful!!
3. UK/Europe - Greece, Italy, Spain, France, England, Ireland (again) - just to say that I did?
4. Guatemala - visit my Compassion child

FOUR POPULAR FALSE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME:
1. That I'm always nice & always do the right thing - I've fooled you all! I'm actually very weak and flawed, yet confident in knowing Jesus still loves me in my weakness :)
2. That I'm quiet and reserved - my husband is probably one of the few people to see the "real" me who is quite silly and vivacious
3. Not sure what else?
4.

FOUR PEOPLE I LOOK LIKE (according to some people):
1. Probably like my mom and dad.
2. Apparently Jodie Foster?? (I don't see it)
3. My Auntie Marlene
4. Can't think of anyone else

FOUR THINGS (I HOPE) TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1. Have babies
2. Have my own business
3. Be able to give lots of money to further the Kingdom of God
4. Experience full-time ministry in a 24/7 House of Prayer

PEOPLE I TAG NEXT: (If any of you actually read my blog - lol)
1. Jacki Balfour
2. M's Thiessen
3. Lynnel Schultz
4. Angie Wiebe

Another Baby!!

2006-04-02T18:42:00.000-07:00

There have so many beautiful babies coming into the world, and I would like to welcome yet another. Here is Sparrow Isabelle Rundvall wrapped in her prophetic blanket with the verse that she derived her name from (Psalm 84:3). She is the granddaughter of our mentors in prayer and intercession & she has a very rich heritage of faith in her family, so watch out for this one!!

Kitty Wants Inside

2006-03-25T21:23:00.000-07:00

Check out a new video I've added to my site by clicking on My Videos on the right. It's called "Kitty Wants Inside" and to me it's pretty funny. :)

Happy 50th Birthday Dad!!

2006-03-21T19:22:00.000-07:00

Well, much excitement has occurred over the last week! On Wednesday night, Joe & I flew to Winnipeg, Manitoba to surprise my dad for his 50th birthday. We arrived at the house around midnight, after our flight was delayed an hour due to fog. My brother Derek & his girlfriend Erin and my sister Nicole came to pick us up from the airport. To try and surprise my dad, Derek dropped me & Joe & Nicole off before our house so we could sneak around to the back entrance while Derek & Erin would distract him at the front entrance. It was quite funny because we were all crouching at the back door in 2 feet of snow since my parents apparently don't ever use the back entrance, and waiting for Derek to call Nicole's cell phone to give us the "all clear" to sneak in. But then they all started to sit down at the dining room table and chat while we were freezing outside - lol. So we decided to just try to sneak in quietly anyways, but as we went in, Joe accidently hit the light on. We heard my dad say, "Hey! I just saw the light turn on & off in the entrance!" So...basically we waited for him to come check it out & then yelled "Surprise!!" It was quite funny & he was very surprised, so it all worked out great.

On Thursday morning, Joe & I went to Winnipeg to meet up with Shane & Kristi who I knew from high school. Through reading their blogs, we discovered that we shared a passion for prayer in the harp & bowl model as demonstrated by the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. Shane is an intercessory missionary and both Shane & Kristi are involved in the beginnings of a House of Prayer in Winnipeg, which is something that Joe & I long to see happen in Calgary. So we had an awesome time with them going for brunch and talking about all the dreams and desires in our hearts to see 24/7 prayer take off in our cities. After that, Joe & I felt so encouraged and spurred on to pursue what God has put in our hearts.

So then we just hung out with the family and helped my mom with plans for my dad's surprise birthday party to be held on Sunday afternoon. There was much secretive whispering and conniving and planning going on behind his back as we prepared goodies and a slide show. I was also in charge of writing a tribute to my dad from us kids about why he's such a wonderful dad. So, even though it was relaxing, it was also rather crazy and full of activity.

On Saturday, my dad's actual birthday, we had a family dinner with my parents, Joe & me, Derek & Erin, and Nicole & her boyfriend Nick. It was pretty awesome to have all of us together and to get to meet my brother's girlfriend for the first time. I hadn't actually seen my brother for over a year! So it was just really great to be with my family like that. We then had cake with 50 candles & some fireworks outside to celebrate this significant event.

Then on Sunday, the grand occassion of the surprise party with family and friends occurred and us kids all helped with the preparation of the venue and the food & the slide show to celebrate my dad's 50 years. It was a lot of fun & it was an honor to give my tribute to my dad and let everyone know just why we love him so much. All in all, the entire weekend was a great success and well "worth the trip to Steinbach"!!

Welcome to the world Elianna Joy!!

2006-03-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

Introducing Elianna Joy Balfour!!!

Born on March 16, 2006 at 7:14, after a brief 8 hours of labour, Elianna ranked in at a comfortable 7 pounds, 0 ounces.

Congratulations Rob & Jacki!!! She is absolutely beautiful & I love her already!!

Dream

2006-03-10T08:19:00.000-07:00

I had a rather interesting dream last night...

I dreamt that Joe & I and Kristi Farrow's husband Shane were all in a university classroom - the kind with the theatre-style seating. The class hadn't begun yet, but the room was pretty much full - most were seated already and some of us were standing around talking and waiting for the instructor to arrive. The three of us were all at the front of the classroom at the bottom, standing in front of our seats. All of a sudden a commotion up at the top of the room caught our attention. A young man yelled in a cry of intense pain, gripped his side with his hand and then began falling down the stairs to a landing in the middle of the seats. He was out cold, completely unconscious. There was a bustle of noise as people watched the scene with fear and concern and confusion. Nobody knew what to do - was he okay? What had happened? I remember thinking that because he had gripped his side when he fell, that maybe his appendix had burst.

Before anybody really had the chance to make a move towards him to see if he was okay, a nurse appeared on the scene and went to his side, checked his pulse and looked to see if he was breathing. He wasn't breathing, so she began to perform CPR on him. There was a lot of fear in the room and wondering if he had died. Then the instructor showed up and also went to his side to see what was going on. At this point, Shane beckoned me to come with him and we both approached the instructor, nurse and the injured young man. Shane asked the instructor if we could lay hands on him, and it appeared that the instructor was a Christian, and he replied, "Yes! Absolutely!"

So Shane and I both laid hands on the young man and began to sing prophetically over him, songs/prayers of healing. As we were doing this, a surge of faith and boldness rose up within my spirit and my prayer changed - for those of you who have experienced this, you know what I mean, it's like all of a sudden a new authority comes into your prayers & you know it's no longer you, but the Holy Spirit praying through you - I began to prophesy to the man to be healed!! He immediately SHOT UP to his feet and was completely well. I was in total awe and wonder at God's goodness and power for healing the young man and praise began to well up inside of me. I began to say, "Thank you Jesus! Praise God!" and started clapping my hands in praise of Him.

I began to look around the classroom to encourage people to join with me in clapping & giving God glory for what had just happened, but it seemed like most people thought that whatever was wrong had just gone away on it's own, or that perhaps the nurse had done something to make him better. Nobody seemed to want to acknowledge that it was God who had healed him. I heard a couple random, spattered claps, but I was waiting for the whole room to erupt in praise and clapping and shouting. I stood there, alone, clapping by myself, hoping that people would join me - but nobody did.

The dream ended with me feeling a sense of righteous anger that God wasn't receiving the glory He deserved.

Any thoughts on what this dream could mean?? I'd love to hear your insight.

Too Cute

2006-03-08T07:44:00.000-07:00

I just had to post this picture of another friend's baby. I was in discipleship school with Amanda, who married her husband Chris King in May 2004. Their bundle of joy, Ashton, arrived on October 8, 2005, which makes him 5 months old today! And this picture of him was just too precious not to share!

New Arrival!!

2006-03-07T12:51:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know Craig & Stephanie Hill and for those who don't :) they recently welcomed the arrival of their second baby into their family. Craig & Steph were my mentors & leaders when I was in discipleship school. Here is the telling of the events in Steph's words...

"He is HERE. My baby boy arrived 1 day early. On March the 2nd at 3:56 pm Joel Randall Hill arrived! Weighing in at 7'11 and 20 inches. Healthy and content. I had a beautiful birthing experience, and everything went very well. He is now 4 days old and we are adjusting to life as a family of 4. When Josh met his brother it was a precious moment I'll never forget. Life is good."

Painting

2006-02-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

This weekend we painted the last few rooms which we had not done yet. When we first purchased our house, we painted the living room, dining room and our bedroom a sandy tan color and we painted the kitchen a dark chocolate. We have now painted our bathroom a medium dusty blue and the two spare bedrooms a medium shade of grey. We're really happy with the way it turned out!

Outstanding Among Ten Thousand

2006-02-24T09:52:00.000-07:00

For a rather vulnerable glimpse into my life, lately I have been thinking a lot about being pregnant and wishing I had a life in the process of creation within me. This is in part due to the dozens of pregnant women and new mothers around me. I also think it is because Joe & I have been married now for a year and I am actually in a position where having a baby is not completely out of the question. We have a house and room to grow. Not only this, but as a young woman who is nearing her quarter-century birthday in the coming year, the timing seems good for starting a family. I also think that my motherly instincts are beginning to blossom along with the simple continuous longing for a child to call my own.

Taking all this into consideration, I also do not actually feel ready to be a mother and I really want to make the most of our married years where it is just the two of us, before the pressures and responsibilities of parenthood dramatically change our lifestyles. This then requires patience and trusting in God's perfect timing and knowing that He has a plan for us and our future family. Yet, I still can't help feeling a sadness when I dream about having a baby, only to wake up and discover that it isn't real.

With all of this on my heart, I was reminded of Hannah from 1 Samuel. She too had a desperate longing for a child, but she was barren. She had the adoration and devotion of her husband, but she was not satisfied with this. Her desire was so intense that it drove her to depression and not eating. She was almost obsessed with her dream of having a child and could think of nothing else. Her husband, who loved her dearly, however, was wounded by this and asked her, "Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?"

I think this caused her to think and consider her dream. As she was praying, she presented her request before God, asking Him again to give her a son, but then she did something very dramatic. She "sacrificed" this dream that was so close to her heart and vowed that she would give her son back to the Lord for all the days of his life. She let go of her greatest desire and surrendered it back to God.

I can't help but think that perhaps the Lord sometimes asks me, "Don't I mean more to you than...?" (fill in the blank) - a child, a career, a position, friends, my spouse, family, ministry, possessions, etc. Sometimes I can get so focused on my dreams that I neglect what I already have. I fix my gaze on the desires in my heart and forget about the most important thing - I have the very Creator of the universe to call my husband, my Father, my best friend, my Savior, my Helper! He is sooooo much more to me than any of those things could ever be!!

This then reminded me of the verse in Song of Songs 5:10 which says, "My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand." I have mostly thought of this in the perspective of considering the Lord's beauty and that He is more beautiful than all others. But then I began to think about it in the context of my dreams and desires - the ones most dear to my heart, the good, even God-planted dreams. I sat down at the piano with my Bible and began to sing everything that I was feeling and sing from the Word as a way of expressing my heart to God. And what came out of it? A song - very simple, nothing fancy - but nevertheless, it impacted me.

"You mean more to me than ten thousand dreams.
You mean more to me than any fulfilled fantasy."

So...do I have what it takes to surrender my dreams the way Hannah did? I hope so. In all truth and sincerity, I believe that the Lord is enough. He is more than enough! And without Him, none of those things could ever come close to satisfying me. He is truly outstanding among ten thousand! And we have the privilege of knowing the end of Hannah's story (although our own eludes us) - after she gave her dream back to God, He answered her cries and gave her a son, Samuel. She remained true to her promise and gave her son to the service of God in the temple, even though it was very difficult to do. Yet, the Lord gave back to her 5 times what she gave up and He blessed her with 3 more sons and 2 daughters! Plus, Samuel became an extremely influential man of God who heard the voice of the Lord and played a major role in the life of King David, from whose line would come the Savior of the world. Wow!

When we give up something for God, I believe it so moves His heart with love for us that He can't help but pour out so much blessing on us. The smallest movement of our hearts towards Him in acts of voluntary love for Him strikes His heart and He is ravished by us, by just one glance of our eyes. (Song of Songs 4:9)

Pearl of Great Price

2006-02-10T11:48:00.000-07:00

Matthew 13:45-46 (NKJV)
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.

1 Corinthians 6:19-21 (NIV)
...You are not your own; you were bought at a price...

Hosea 3:1-3 (The Message)
Then God ordered me, "Start all over: Love your wife again, your wife who's in bed with her latest boyfriend, your cheating wife. Love her the way I, God, love the Israelite people, even as they flirt and party with every god that takes their fancy."

I did it. I paid good money to get her back. It cost me the price of a slave. Then I told her, "From now on you're living with me. No more whoring, no more sleeping around. You're living with me and I'm living with you."

Genesis 2:18 (NIV)
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Hosea 2:14, 16, 19-20 (NIV)
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her."

"In that day," declares the Lord, "you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master.'"

"I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord."

Picture with me, if you will, a woman standing on an auction block. She is dirty, bruised, and her clothes are torn, barely covering her. She will go to the highest bidder and become their possession, their slave. She doesn't look like she's worth the starting bid and nobody seems interested in purchasing her. The auctioneer would be just as happy to see her die and cares little for her life. When nobody responds to his attempts to sell her, he is ready to discard her and move on to more promising wares.

But then a man approaches him and beckons him to come over for a private deal. He is obviously very wealthy, clothed in rich garments, smelling of sweet perfumes, and handsome in appearance. The auctioneer's prospects immediately brighten and he prepares to bargain. The man asks, "How much for her?" pointing to the prostitute that nobody else wanted. The auctioneer purred with his best salesman tactics, "Oh, her? You couldn't possibly afford her!" The man persists, "Name your price." Anybody knows it's best to start high and then work your way down. "Everything you own!!" The auctioneer exclaims extravagantly. Without a moment's hesitation, the man declares, "Done!" and extends his hand to seal the deal. The auctioneer blinks, stunned. Did he hear right? The man looks completely serious and ready to give it all for this soiled dove. The auctioneer becomes suspicious. Is there something he doesn't know about her? He decides to find out.

"All right...but before we write up the papers, may I ask you a question? What makes her of such value to you?"

The man smiles slightly and gazes over at the young woman who is standing, shoulders slumped, head down.

"I've been looking for some time now, in search of beautiful pearls. As soon as I saw her, I realized that my search was over, for in her I have found a pearl of great price! Can you not see how priceless she is?"

The auctioneer looks again to make sure they are speaking about the same woman. Indeed, they are viewing the same broken, filthy whore. He is lost for words, bewildered by the man's words. "Why don't you tell me what makes her so priceless?" Hoping to discover the secret of her identity.

The man's smile grows. His gaze is directed at the woman and yet it appears that he is seeing a completely different scene in his mind's eye.

"She is radiant. She is altogether lovely. She is stunning and captivating. With one glance of her eyes, she has stolen my heart! She is worth the greatest price you could name, and more! You could not put a price on her beauty!"

"She is unique, perfect in every way. There is none like her! She is purity, she is grace, she is strength. She is a rose, a lily among thorns, a diamond in the rough, the wheat among the weeds. She is elegant, nurturing, dedicated, affectionate and stately. There is no flaw or blemish in her!"

"I'm sorry to interrupt, that's all very poetic, but may I remind you that she is a slave and a adulteress?" The auctioneer forgot his salesman's tactics for a moment in order to satisfy his curiosity. The man turned to him.

"Yes, I know. She is bruised, but I will heal her. She is broken-hearted, but I will bind up her wounds. She might call me 'Master' for some time, but one day, she will call me 'husband'." The man returned his gaze to the object of his affection.

"Yes...because I am going to allure her. I will speak tenderly to her and restore to her all that she has lost. I will betroth her to myself forever."

"Pardon?? You plan to marry this woman? Surely a man of your stature and position deserves a woman of royalty and wealth! She cannot be worthy to stand next to you as your wife!"

Fear flamed up inside the auctioneer's soul at the look the man turned on him. A look of jealous rage burned in his eyes with fierceness and passion. The auctioneer quickly determined to be more careful with his words.

"You are quite mistaken," came the carefully controlled words of the man, "She is in fact royalty and comes from the highest birth. Only she doesn't know it." Aha! Things were starting to come together at last! Foolishly, this man thought this woman was somehow a princess, kidnapped and sold into slavery as a child! Oh the irony! He was going to waste everything on her! He returned his attention to the man, who was still speaking.

"She is certainly worthy to be my bride. I will wash away her filth and dress her in garments of pure white. She will be my partner, my suitable companion, and she will love me with the same intense love that I have for her. She will be the light of the world, the salt of the earth. Nothing I own could possibly compare with the endless pleasure that she will bring me for eternity. I consider all that I would give up for her to be rubbish in comparison to the joy that I will gain by winning her heart! I would give it all to have her, indeed I must have her!"

"And you will, sir," purred the auctioneer again, back on his game, "For the price that we agreed on!"

"I'm a man of my word. I will pay you what I promised."

And he did pay the greatest price. He made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, giving up the glory and riches of heaven, giving up his close intimate position with the Father, setting aside the privileges of deity and the advantages of his status to come to earth and become human! (Philippians 2:6-8) He humbled himself, washing the feet of those who followed him, to show them the full extent of his love for them. (John 13:1-5) And from there he continued his selfless abandonment with the most extravagant display of his love - he gave his very life and died a cruel death on a cross. And while he hung there, it was her face, the image of his bride that was the joy set before him and which enabled him to endure the cross and scorn the shame. (Hebrews 12:2) Yet, what makes it so incredible is that he considered his bride to be worth the price! He considered all these things to not be of equal value to having her for his own, and enjoying the benefits of her voluntary love. She is indeed priceless.

Song of Songs 8:7 (NIV)
If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

Unböring

2006-01-28T20:51:00.000-07:00

The first time I saw the IKEA ad with the dejected lamp, I was totally sucked into the emotion of the sorrowful music as I watched this little desk lamp being carried out to the curb by its owner and set by the garbage can. It was dark, windy and it began to rain on this poor little lamp as you watch through the window of the apartment, its owner enjoying a new lamp, caressing it lovingly before going to bed. My heart was breaking as I felt for this lamp out on the sidewalk, abandoned for this newer lamp that had now stolen its owners affection. After reeling in my heart, the commercial then proceeded to mock me for my emotions saying, "Many of you feel bad for this lamp. That is because you are crazy! The lamp has no feelings and the new lamp is much better!" Well, I couldn't help but feel I was doing the very same thing as today, we took down some of the light fixtures in our house and installed new ones that we also purchased from IKEA! Here is my montage to this ad and our new (better) light fixtures. :) To see the commercial yourself, click here. (You will need Quicktime installed to view it)

You know it's time to...

2006-01-27T20:11:00.000-07:00

...shave your legs when you can feel the wind blowing through your leg hair!!!

Yikes! Apparently it's been a while - I think my legs have reached Lynnel proportions (anyone who was in TMC in our year would know what I'm talking about!!) - lol.

I Will Get Up Now

2006-01-20T16:58:00.000-07:00

"All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go to the city, through its streets and squares I will search for the one my heart loves." (Song of Songs 3:1-2)

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't know how somebody can search for someone else on their bed! Obviously, she wasn't too successfuly with that strategy. So, this leads her to get up and go out to look for the love of her heart. To me, this infers that there is a greater level of effort required on my part if I truly want to find God. It means I have to leave my place of comfort to search for Him. And I really do like to stay cozy in my bed!

I see a rather silly picture of myself wrapped up in my blankets in bed and calling out to my husband Joe, "Where are you?? I can't find you!!" And of course I'm not going to make much progress that way! I will need to get out of my comfy bed, get dressed and go throughout the house if I hope to discover his whereabouts. If I truly want to be with him and be where he is, I will have to go to him.

So Lord, where are you? Where should I go to find you? What does this mean for me practically? How can I apply this to the way I seek you?

I think part of the key here is simply that if I don't seem to be finding Him in one place, then I shouldn't give up, but just look in another place. The key to finding someone is not to look in the same place over and over! If He's not in the streets, then I will look for Him in the squares, and if He's not in the squares, I will look for Him in the fields. And I will keep looking everywhere until I find Him!

So if I can't find Him in my Bible study on the book of Matthew, perhaps it's because He's waiting for me at the piano. And if He's not there, perhaps I'll find Him in creating a piece of art. And if I don't find Him there, maybe He's wanting to meet with me at a prayer meeting or a worship service amont other believers. The location shouldn't matter, nor how many places I've had to look before I found Him - simply that I did indeed find Him and He was there waiting to spend time with me and show Himself to me.

Lord, help me to break out of the limitations I put on you and myself. Help me to go outside of the comfortable and the familiar in order to seek you. Because you might be found downtown with the homeless woman on the street, or you might be right in my workplace, but I've been searching in the wrong places and have missed you. Help me to keep seeking and not give up - to persevere and search until I find you.

Here I Am!!!

2006-01-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

This is a continuation of my previous post entitled "Where Are You?"

As I was pondering the Hide 'n Seek analogy that I discovered in Genesis, I sought to discover more about God through it. Sometimes it seems that God "hides" from me, and I wanted to know why! Then I found a verse that seemed to shed some light on the issue.

Isaiah 65:1 - "I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me; I was found by those who did not seek me. To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, 'Here am I, here am I'."

From a historical viewpoint, in this verse, God is referring to the Gentiles and saying that He would reveal Himself to them, even though they didn't worship Him. Yet, in this verse, something captured my heart as I began to see a glimpse into another aspect of God's personality.

First of all, you can see that God really wants to be found by people!! He even wants to be found by those who aren't even looking for Him! Therefore, it only makes sense that He delights to be found even more by those who are truly seeking for Him.

Now, for those who aren't looking for Him, perhaps they need a little extra help in finding Him & they need God to jump up & down and wave His arms a little and shout "Here I am!!!" But, is God the same for those who are looking for Him? Or does He hide Himself for a while - perhaps testing to see how badly we want Him? Or does He simply enjoy seeing His people who desire Him seek Him out? Is there a greater reward for those who persevere in seeking Him when it seems that He is hiding from them? Is there greater joy in discovering Him when it requires effort on our part?

Now, if I am to be completely honest, sometimes it isn't a whole lot of fun to look for God & feel like I'm not even coming close to finding Him. It can be quite discouraging actually - even depressing. David seems to share my sentiments and expresses His own frustration in the Psalms.

"...when you hid your face, I was dismayed." (30:7)
"How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I ... every day have sorrow in my heart?" (13:1-2)
"Why, O Lord, do you reject me and hide your face from me?" (88:14)

The thrill of a child's hide 'n seek game just doesn't seem to be there when God is the one hiding. Instead, we wander around aimlessly, despondent & in despair. WHERE ARE YOU?? We feel rejected and lost without the sense of His presence with us.

But do we feel this way because we have a distorted view of God? Is it because we automatically assume that if He's hiding, it means that He is angry with us or rejecting us? Maybe we've got it wrong. Perhaps, if we sense that He is distant, it should fill us with the thrill of the hunt, the chase! Instead of despairing, should we grow excited at the prospect of seeking Him out and finding Him?

I think I feel that excitement at times, but then, when it seems like it's taking too long or that I am failing at my task of finding Him, I get discouraged. I usually start beating up on myself and feel that I'm not very good at this game of hide 'n seek. I'm good at hiding from God! Just not as good at seeking for Him. And the enemy whispers in my ear, "Maybe He doesn't want to be found by you. I think He's probably hiding because He'd rather not be with you."

Which is why my heart lept when I read the verse in Isaiah, because I felt encouraged by the thought that God really does want to be found by me!! And perhaps, when He sees me seeking for Him, I will finally hear Him shout, "Here I am!!"

More than "goose bumps and tears"

2005-12-08T12:51:00.000-07:00

"A touch from God is wonderful, but we are in pursuit of more than just an experience -- more than 'goose bumps and tears.' We are seeking to abide with Christ, where we are continually aware of His fullness within us and where His presence dwells in us in glory." ~ Francis Frangipane, The Tent of Meeting

I was reading this article from the Elijah List and when I read the portion above, it struck something in me, because this has been my heart's desire for some time now. Now, don't get me wrong, I love "goose bumps and tears" as much as the next person, when it comes to experiencing God's presence, and I've had my share of them. But over the last couple years, I've found that those things simply don't satisfy me the way they used to. I've discovered that my spirit longs for more. I am no longer content to just feel a shiver down my spine - I want to abide where He is!! I want to abide in Him! I want to have that awareness of His fullness within me at all times!

So how do I achieve this??

The author above suggests that it requires leaving the familiarity of our surroundings to seek God in the Tent of Meeting described in Exodus 33, where Moses and the people of Israel sought the Lord "a good distance from the camp". Perhaps that is part of the answer - I am beginning to recognize more and more the importance of "getting away" with the Lord in my "prayer closet" - yet, I believe it will require more than that.

First of all, I think it will require a desperation on my part in order to make this pursuit a priority. And I desperately need the gift and grace of desire from God. Even desire for Him is a gift from Him, and without Him drawing us to Himself, we would never come to Him! "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him..." (John 6:44)

And I would write a "Secondly" and "Thirdly" except that I don't actually know what's next after that. All I know is what I want, not necessarily how to get there. I want more than "goose bumps and tears".

Where are you???

2005-12-04T20:36:00.000-07:00

Recently, the Lord brought it to my attention that I had been avoiding Him. Avoiding a lot of things, actually. I realized that I had been avoiding dealing with some issues of my heart that had come up & had thought that perhaps if I just pretended my problems didn't exist, then maybe they would just go away on their own. Well, it turns out that instead of disappearing, they only grew worse! So finally, I gave in and began to face my problems instead of running from them. Except, that I then discovered that by focusing on my problems and issues, I was still running from God. Then, by His grace He came in and brought me to Genesis 3:9 and began to speak to me through it. I wrote out what He was showing me in the form of a prayer...

God -
I came here tonight all prepared for another session of confession and dumping about all my faults and flaws, yet, I was randomly paging through my Bible and a phrase caught my eye and then my heart. It was telling of a time when you were walking in a garden in the cool of the day. And it's no ordinary garden. It's a garden of intimacy where you spend time with your two most favorite people in the entire world! :)

It's a garden of joy and adventure, a place where you would walk and talk together and instruct and laugh and just enjoy each other's company. I imagine you really looked forward to the time you spent with Adam & Eve and anticipated your rendevouzs with them. I see you smiling. And you're looking for them - you can't wait to see them again and hear the things they discovered today and what questions they have.

Before you can even call out to them, they've already heard your footsteps and you can hear them rushing through the garden, nearly bursting with their excitement to run abandonedly into your arms. They come crashing through the trees and nearly pounce on you, laughing with all the innocence and playfulness of a child running to his Daddy.

Some days though they might not have heard your steps as they worked and you would call out to them... "Where are you?" You would search for them, eager to locate them. You would call out again, a little louder this time, almost singing and laughing as you called, "Where are you? I'm going to find you!!"

All of a sudden they cease all movement and their heads turn. Did they hear something? Their hearts begin to beat a little faster...they look at each other with a look that says, "Did you hear what I think I heard?" They focus their senses and gaze intently in the direction of the sound. Suddenly they hear it again! Someone singing! "Aaaaaaaadam!! Eeeeeeeve!! Where aaaaare you? I'm looking for you!"

Their spirits leap within them and their bodies follow suit, leaping up from their task. Their Lord is searching for them! He's pursuing them! Instead of running to you, this time they whisper to each other playfully and point to a hiding place. They cover their mouths, attempting to muffle their laughter as they quickly hide themselves. His voice is getting louder - He's nearer! They are breathless with the anticipation of being sought after and found.

You of course know exactly where they are, but you come near to their hiding place and make a display of your passion for them, calling out with such vigor, love, and deep desire, "Where aaaare you?? I can't bear it one more second!! I must be with you! I want to be with you! Come out, come out wherever you are!" At this point, they can no longer contain themselves and they explode from their hiding place, shouting, "Here we are!!!" And there is great joy at being discovered!

You are laughing. Oh, how you love them!! There is such adoration on your face. You are content. And they love you and they are content in your love.

Sadly, there is more to the story found in Genesis. This day, when they heard your footsteps in the garden, they ran to hide, but not for fun - this time they hid because of fear and shame. Sin had entered the picture and they did not anticipate seeing the look of sadness on your face at their disobedience. They wished for the days of innocence and purity to come back when they could run to you, but now they couldn't even bear the thought of looking into your all-knowing eyes. And so they hid.

Of course, you already knew what they had done and why they were hiding, yet still you called out as always... "Where are you?" Your heart was broken and grieved by their sin, yet still you sought them out, still you desired to be with your children, still you pursued them, because you longed to talk to them about what had happened.

When they heard your voice, they looked at each other with fear in their eyes. Should they reveal themselves? What would they say? The grief nearly choked them - their Lord, their God, their Creator - they had hurt him and they felt so much shame at seeing their own nakedness, seeing the ugliness of their sin.
Finally, Adam spoke, but their fear and shame prevented them from saying what they truly felt. "I'm so sorry!!" is what their spirits cried out, but instead, they made excuses and tried to shift the blame. And they stayed hidden instead of being vulnerable with their God as they always had before.

And because you are holy and just, there had to be consequences for their sin. Yet, I don't imagine it was the pain of childbirth or the sweat and weariness of hard labor that was the highest price for their sin - the worst part was being expelled from the only home they had ever known - the garden of intimacy with you.
Yet you were also so full of love and grace and you came and covered them in their shame. You wrapped garments around them as a prophetic act that one day there would be another sacrifice that would cover the sins and shame of the whole world.

You then showed yourself to be that same God to the generations that followed. You continue to call out to those that would listen - to those whose ears are turned to even the slightest whisper of your voice - "Where aaaaare you? I'm looking for you! I want to be with you!"

You are calling to me! You are searching for me, seeking me out, pursuing intimacy with me. And sometimes I come running to you, laughter bubbling out of me with the excitement of being with you. But sometimes, I know I have done things that aren't pleasing to you, and when you call out to me, I run from you and hide in my shame, afraid to face you. I forget about your unconditional love for me and your grace that covers even a multitude of sins. This is the cycle of avoidance that I seem to fall into so easily. This is the cycle I wish to break! Help me, my Lord, my God, my Creator.

You know my heart better than I do. You know the true desires of my heart to be with you and that even when I'm running from you, I long to be back in the garden of intimacy.

My Brother & I

2005-11-11T14:38:00.000-07:00

I'm probably laughing because Derek's flashing some upper thigh!

My Beloved

2005-11-09T16:54:00.000-07:00

Isn't he a catch? :)

Married Bliss

2005-11-08T15:59:00.000-07:00

Video Blog

2005-11-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

Rainy Day <-- Click there!

A short and relatively unexciting video of a sudden downpour at our house.

Kitty Wants Inside <-- Click there!

One of our cats desperately wanted to get inside & her attempts at gaining our attention was quite funny.

Proposal <-- Click there!

It's quite dark, because it was late evening, so you can't really see my features, but it starts off with me wearing a blindfold. When I take it off, you can't hear me too well either, lol, but basically, I'm hyperventilating and giggling lots and saying "Oh my goodness!!" over and over, as I am looking at Joe down on one knee with the ring in his hand! haha. He had taken me to a park that overlooks the Bow River and downtown Calgary - it was truly a beautiful scene. After I finally manage to squeak out a "Yes!" it ends with a squeal and jumping up & down with excitement. :)